Dating in Germany: finding love as an expat

Dating in Germany is rarely love at first sight. Indeed, in a country where people take their time (and their commitments seriously), romance is more of a slow burn than a fireworks show. But whether you’re navigating Tinder in Berlin or flirting over beers in Bavaria, some expats will feel that the dating scene is refreshingly direct (if occasionally baffling).

Here’s what to know about dating in Germany, from where to meet singles to what actually counts as a first date:

Is it easy to date in Germany?

Almost 45.5% of Germans are single or without a life partner (Destatis, 2023), defined as never married, divorced, or widowed. Of course, it would be wrong to assume every one of these is also truly without a relationship… Perhaps they just haven’t made things official yet.

But with those statistics being the only ones available, it’s hard to say whether it’s easy to date in Germany or not.

It is true, though, that there are more singles than ever in Germany.

According to one study (2023), this is partly a result of the modern culture shift. Many people enjoy the single lifestyle and the freedom it brings. Rather than looking for a romantic relationship, Germans prefer to spend their time on self-fulfillment (e.g., hobbies and travel) and personal growth.

More often than not, people – and women, in particular – intentionally delay romance, marriage, and children until they have met their career goals. And, because of the high cost of living, many singles simply can’t afford to start a family.

At the same time, the modern dating culture comes with a great deal of freedom. Sex is easy to find, leaving many singles incapable of emotional commitment. Especially in Berlin, men seem to be prone to the eternal “Peter Pan syndrome”. And while men don’t face any societal pressure to settle down – in fact, society approves of them being single – single women are often pitied and looked down upon.

German society still considers single, childless women (past a certain age) as failing in their duty to have children. Indeed, when women haven’t found a long-term partner by a certain point, they’re often seen as ‘unusual’ and suspect.

How do you meet single people online in Germany?

The best dating websites in Germany

Unsurprisingly, in the modern era, one of the easiest ways to enter the German dating scene is by going online.

To meet other single, like-minded internationals, try our own online dating service: Expatica Dating Germany. Popular with both men and women, it helps to connect people who share similar interests and passions and ultimately find love in the country of bratwurst and beer.

Other popular dating sites in Germany are Badoo, eDarling, ElitePartner, and Lovoo. These are mostly free, but may require payment to access special features.

The best dating apps in Germany

International dating apps such as Tinder, Bumble, Hinge, and OkCupid are commonly used in Germany. Snoggle is also popular – you can use this paid app to swipe left and right, and win rewards along the way.

Homegrown apps like Bildkontakte, Finya, and Neu.de connect you with German speakers who are looking to build serious relationships. Similarly, the social eating app Timeleft can offer a great alternative. This app allows singles to meet and share dinner with four strangers, and, although it’s primarily focused on creating friendships, you might meet someone who’s open to something more.

And if you’re looking for something more spicy, you should check out the app Feeld. Kink-shaming isn’t allowed on this platform (unless you’re into that kind of thing).

German singles looking for same-sex relationships will want to check out the dating apps Disco, Grindr, Newe, and Zoe.

As might be expected, users of dating apps tend to stumble upon the same issues in Germany as they would in other countries. For example, the apps are primarily geared toward making rapid decisions and used for hook-ups. So, if you are looking for a genuine connection, you may be better off signing up for a website or meeting someone in person.

How do you meet singles in person in Germany?

If online dating is not for you, then in-person meetups can be a good alternative. You can start by attending social events organized by Meetup groups or expat groups. There are numerous events throughout Germany that allow you to connect with people in a fun and safe way. Even if you don’t find the love of your life, you might make some new friends.

Another great way to meet potential partners is by joining a local club or sports team. From art classes to hiking clubs (Wanderverein), these offer a great way for you to meet new people and bond over shared passions and interests.

Meeting people through friends

Of course, you can also reach out to your social and professional network to find a date. This is actually the most common way of dating in Germany. If you have friends or close work colleagues you trust, see if they know of any suitable singles they could set you up with. Otherwise, keep an eye out for social gatherings and do some searching yourself.

If you’re feeling confident, the country has plenty of opportunities to acquaint yourself with strangers, for example, in bars, at clubs, or at a local event or festival. You just have to be a little outgoing.

While this method requires more effort, it can be rewarding to find attractive singles without the worry that their online personality doesn’t match their real-life one.

Local speed dating events

Another interesting way of meeting potential dating partners in Germany is through speed dating events. This is where singles meet at a venue and are matched for a series of quick-fire conversations with others to see if compatibility or a spark exists.

You can find events near you on websites such as SpeedDating XXL, which advertises events in most major cities, including Berlin, Bonn, Frankfurt, Munich (München), and Stuttgart. Social networking sites like Instagram and Reddit may also have details of upcoming mixers or speed-dating events.

What is the dating etiquette in Germany?

Generally speaking, German people are honest and reliable, but can be a bit reserved at first. It may take a while for them to open up and let you in. Because of this, they may come across as distant, but you just have to see through that.

Germans are also known to like structure and well-thought-out plans, which means they are less likely to be available for last-minute plans or spontaneous dates. But if you’re up for the challenge, here are some of the more common dating scenarios you can expect in Germany.

A typical dating scenario

Many Germans prefer to date within their own social circles. People often start out as friends, and, after getting to know each other better, form a romantic connection. So, dates could involve anything around your shared interests, like visiting a museum, having drinks at a bar, or going to a festival together.

Dates are typically laid-back with light teasing and dry humor. The Germans are not the most obvious flirts and may not even recognize you as flirting. Indeed, depending on your communication skills, compliments can be received with skepticism, leaving the person confused as to what they mean and/or whether you are being sarcastic.

Conversely, German people can be more direct than in other countries. They are renowned for being straightforward, even if it means being blunt, and value honesty and authenticity above all else. This doesn’t mean they are discourteous, but they’d rather have you disagree with them than that you lie about your opinions.

First dates aren’t usually very touchy-feely. Other than the customary greeting (two kisses on the cheeks, or one kiss and a hug), physical contact is kept to a minimum.

Small public displays of affection are perfectly normal in Germany, though within limits. No one will bat an eyelash if couples hold hands, share a brief kiss, or hug in public. However, anything more intense and overtly passionate will draw disapproving looks and make people uncomfortable. That said, they’re unlikely to say anything unless things become sexual.

Dating behavior in Germany

Although German culture and social norms are distinct in many ways, first-date etiquette is fairly typical. People are generally shy and reserved, meaning that the dating atmosphere is usually light-hearted and casual.

Their casual attitude does not extend to punctuality. Being on time is a point of pride in the country, so you’ll want to be a few to 10 minutes early. Germans consider it very disrespectful to keep people waiting, and being late is a giant turn-off.

The dress code is smart casual, something that is both comfortable and stylish. German people appreciate natural beauty and prefer that you let your charm (and wit) do the talking. As such, you may want to take it down a notch if you’re used to getting glammed up for a date. Of course, this doesn’t mean you can rock up in torn jeans and flip-flops. Germans generally take care of their physical appearance and look presentable (but not over the top).

In terms of conversation, people prefer deeper discussions with a purpose over pointless small talk. Taboo topics include religion, history, and politics (e.g., both world wars and immigration). Clouding your opinions and being too loud won’t go down too well either, and you’ll not likely get a second date.

It’s worth noting that German dating culture is pretty monogamous, and most people will assume exclusivity unless explicitly stated otherwise. Indeed, many will consider it pretty much cheating when you date multiple people at the same time.

Gender roles in Germany

Despite society’s expectations of women, Germany is quite progressive. Men and women are considered equal, and either gender can ask the other out on a date. It’s also not offensive to split the bill; in fact, it’s assumed you’ll both pay 50/50. That said, both partners contribute equally to the relationship. So, when you pay for the first date, your date usually pays for the second.

Likewise, chivalry is appreciated but not expected. Women like it when their dates hold open doors or help them with their coats, but they don’t mind doing it themselves either. Germans tend to show their appreciation through small gestures, and grand romantic displays (e.g., bringing flowers to a first date) are a faux pas. People are generally pragmatic, and it will backfire on you tremendously.

What are German relationships like?

Dating in Germany tends to be low-key. People prefer to build up a friendship and keep things casual rather than diving headfirst into a romantic relationship. It can take several months before two people officially call themselves a couple. However, that is not to say that they play hard-to-get or play games; Germans will usually let you know if they’re interested or not.

People in Germany also love their independence and won’t drop everything to spend time with you. Instead, they prefer to keep their normal lifestyle and fit you in between any plans they have.

The moment they prioritize you over a regular habit, you know you’re on the right track. Germans take commitment seriously, and once you’re officially a couple, they’re very loyal.

Couples typically move in together after two or three years of dating, sometimes longer. Living together is generally a sign that you both see a long-term future together.

When do you meet your partner’s family?

Another tell-tale sign that your relationship has become serious is when your partner wants to introduce you to their family. Germany values privacy and personal boundaries, so people won’t rush any family introductions.

In the early stages of dating, it’s common to keep things separate. Once a relationship becomes more established – typically when there’s a sense of long-term potential – a formal family introduction will be arranged. This could happen at random, but it’s usually after mutual agreement, rather than as a spontaneous gesture.

After that, family visits or trips out can happen more frequently, depending on the couple’s personal preferences.

Getting married in Germany

The role of the family in weddings

Traditionally, wedding proposals in Germany were a family affair in that the groom-to-be asked permission to marry someone’s daughter before popping the question to her. While some still consider it a respectful thing to do, others think it’s sexist and a genuine offense. So, the safest thing would be to discuss it with your future spouse.

However, it’s common for the soon-to-be bride to receive a diamond engagement ring from her partner.

The challenges facing unmarried couples

Many couples in Germany don’t see marriage as an absolute necessity for committed relationships. Some will live together for years without feeling pressured to ‘make things official.’ That said, many see marriage as the ideal (they just don’t want to rush into things).

Unlike in some other countries, unmarried partners in Germany don’t automatically get the same legal rights as married ones, regardless of how long they’ve lived together. There’s no such thing as common-law marriage, and without formal arrangements, life partners have no claim to each other’s property, inheritance, pensions, or even decision-making in medical emergencies.

Couples who choose not to marry could opt for a cohabitation contract (Partnerschaftsvertrag or nichteheliche Lebensgemeinschaftsvertrag). This doesn’t provide any legal status like marriage or registered partnership, but it does help protect both partners, especially when it comes to finances, property, and shared responsibilities.

Things to keep in mind when dating in Germany

Is Germany LGBTQ+ friendly?

Germany is quite liberal when it comes to gay, bisexual, transgender, and queer people (LGBTQ+) rights. Same-sex marriage was legalized in 2017, and the 2024 Self-Determination Act makes it easier than ever before for someone to change their legal name and gender.

Despite this, many members of the German LGBTQ+ community worry about their future. LGBTQ-phobic violence is on the rise, and the newly elected Chancellor Friedrich Merz is in favor of curbing queer rights.

Germany ranks 6^th out of 197 in the world on the 2025 LGBT Equality Index. IGLA Europe is a bit more critical, ranking the country 8^th out of 49 with a score of 69.1%.

Politics aside, most large cities have an open and thriving LGBTQ+ scene. For example, Berlin is home to a surplus of LGBTQ+ bars, cafes, and clubs, and hosts one of Europe’s largest Annual Pride celebrations (known as the Christopher Street Day parade).

Other popular LGBTQ+ destinations include cities like Cologne (Germany’s unofficial bear capital), Frankfurt, and Hamburg. And if you’re into dirndls and lederhosen, you’ll want to check out Rosa Wiesn (Gay Sunday) during Munich’s Oktoberfest.

What are the views on mixed dating?

Thanks to its growing international population, Germany is no stranger to mixed relationships. Mixed couples are especially common in cities like Berlin, Frankfurt, and Hamburg, where multiculturalism is an integral part of daily life. Because German culture values personal freedom, most people are unbothered by relationships that cross racial, cultural, or religious lines.

That said, the country isn’t free from racism or prejudice (far from it). Over 60% of Germans with immigrant backgrounds regularly experience discrimination in their everyday lives. So, while mixed relationships are considered normal, full acceptance isn’t always guaranteed. Much depends on where you live, who is in your social circle, and how much your relationship stands out from the social norm.

What challenges come with online dating?

Like elsewhere, online dating in Germany comes with its risks. People may not always be who or what they claim to be on their profile or during initial chats. Indeed, the country has had its fair share of romance scams, where criminals pretend to be in love in order to steal money from their victims.

Never agree to send money to someone, arrange your first date in a public place, and be sure to tell a friend or family member where you’ll be.

Useful resources

• Santander – website with information on romance scams, including prevention tips
• Simple Germany – article with some notable things about cross-cultural dating in Germany