Guide to having a South African wedding

For some couples, it doesn’t get much more romantic than a wedding in South Africa. With its diverse landscapes and vibrant culture, the country offers a wide range of options for walking down the aisle.

From legal requirements and budget planning to South African traditions and saying “I do,” here’s what you need to know to plan the wedding of your dreams:

Types of marriages in South Africa

In South Africa, couples can tie the knot in three ways: civil marriages, customary marriages, and civil unions. Each is legally recognized under South African law and allows soon-to-be spouses to celebrate love in a way that’s uniquely theirs.

The three options are:

• Civil marriages – these are the most common and are typically performed by a government official or religious leader during a ceremony.
• Customary marriages – these follow traditional African customs, with cultural rituals that honor the couple’s heritage. Practiced within Indigenous communities, these weddings differ in a number of ways from civil marriages. For example, men can practice polygamy (as long as they don’t enter into a civil marriage), and marriages might be between two families rather than two individuals.
• Civil unions – these offer a more non-traditional approach to South African weddings. The main difference between civil marriages and civil unions is administrative; you complete different paperwork and receive a different certificate.

All unions must be registered with the South African Department of Home Affairs (DHA) to be legally valid. Designated traditional leaders can also license customary marriages in areas where there is no local DHA office.

It’s important to note that customary marriage law does not apply to Christian, Hindu, Muslim, or other religious weddings.

Who can get married in South Africa?

Whether you prefer a traditional, formal, or contemporary union, you must meet the DHA requirements before you can get married. For example, you cannot be close family members like brother and sister.

In South Africa, the following persons can marry:

• Consenting adults over the age of 18 – underaged girls must have written consent from parents, legal guardians, or the court, depending on the situation. The minimum age is 15 for girls and 18 for boys. However, in all cases, both parties must give their consent.
• Those who are not yet married – if you have been married previously, you must provide evidence that your union has been legally dissolved. Couples who enter customary marriages can be married to others; however, this cannot be a civil marriage.
• Those who are sound of mind – persons suffering from severe mental disorders that prevent them from understanding the nature of marriage or making decisions cannot marry in South Africa.

Same-sex marriage is legal in South Africa. In fact, the country was the first in the world to change its Constitution to outlaw discrimination on the grounds of sexual orientation.

Same-sex marriage and LGBTQ+ weddings

In 2006, South Africa became the first African country and the fifth country in the world to legalize gay marriage, after the Netherlands (2001), Belgium (2003), Spain (2005), and Canada (2005).

Same-sex civil marriages and unions can be held on the same grounds as heterosexual ones, including in religious houses (e.g., a church, mosque, or temple). By law, marriage officials cannot object to same-sex weddings: all marriages must be treated equally.

Although Lesbians, Gays, Bisexuals, Transgender, and Queer people (LGBTQ+) still face forms of discrimination, South Africa is relatively safe for divergent couples. Around 70% of LGBTQ+ members feel safe being out in the open (2024). South Africa also ranks 16^th on the 2023 LGBTQ+ Travel Safety Index and 29^th on the 2023 Global Trans Rights Index.

Can you get married in South Africa as a foreigner?

South African marriage law does not prescribe residency requirements. In other words, foreigners can get married in South Africa if they are unmarried consenting adults. Depending on your nationality, however, you may need a valid visa.

If you travel from abroad specifically for a South African destination wedding, you can save a lot of administrative hassle by registering your marriage in your home country. The wedding ceremony in South Africa can be seen as a symbolic celebration but not carrying any legal weight.

How to legally get married in South Africa

Necessary paperwork and documentation

Depending on your nationality and choice of marriage, you’ll need to meet the requirements outlined below.

Civil marriages/unions between two South African citizens

On the day of your wedding, you’ll need to provide the marriage officer with the following documents:

• Copy of your valid passport or ID (from both the bridal couple and the witnesses)
• Two passport photos for each partner (preferably in color)
• Declaration for the purpose of marriage (form BI-31 for civil marriages and form DHA-1763 for civil unions)
• Proof of residence
• If one partner has previously been married, a certified copy of the final decree of divorce. You can also check your official marital status on the DHA website using your South African ID number.
• If one partner has been widowed, a certified copy of the death certificate of their previous spouse

Civil marriages/unions with at least one foreign national

When one or both partners are foreign citizens, the couple must schedule a short in-person marriage interview with the local DHA office. They must do so at least a week before the wedding takes place. Depending on the location and the time of year, scheduling an appointment can take up to four weeks.

At the interview, you’ll be separated and asked about your relationship. The public officials will also collect the following documents:

• Copy of your valid passport or ID (from both the bridal couple and the witnesses)
• If required, a copy of your visa
• If available, your residence permit(s)
• Declaration for the purpose of marriage (form BI-31 for civil marriages and form DHA-1763 for civil unions)
• A letter of non-impediment from your country’s embassy or consulate that states you are not married

After these have been verified and the interview is concluded, you will receive a written letter from the DHA to give to your marriage officer. This document legally allows the wedding official to register the marriage after the ceremony.

On the day itself, you must also bring two passport photos for each partner (preferably in color).

Customary marriages between African Indigenous people

Customary marriages should be registered in person at any DHA office within three months of the ceremony. Both bride and groom must attend and bring along:

• Copy of valid South African passport or ID (from both the bridal couple and the witnesses)
• Declaration for the purpose of marriage (form BI-1699)
• Signed marriage agreement
• If there is one, the lobola agreement
• If the groom is already married, a court order that regulates his future matrimonial property system

South African wedding planning: step-by-step

Planning your wedding ceremony in South Africa can be as simple or as complicated as you like. It’s advisable to give yourself around 12 months to plan your wedding, although this can be longer or shorter depending on your organizational skills and how big and elaborate you want the ceremony to be.

If you have the budget, you may want to hire a reliable wedding planner to take some of the stress off your shoulders.

Step 1: choose and book your venue

Soon-to-be spouses must first decide what they find more important: the wedding date or the wedding location. Often, venues get fully booked months in advance, and it’s a near-impossible task to secure the perfect spot on the perfect date.

If you want your dream venue, you should book early to avoid disappointment. Popular locations can be busy and costly, particularly during the summer months. If you prefer to have a separate reception location, you should try to book both at the same time.

Some things to keep in mind when looking at wedding venues:

• Cost – does it fit in your wedding budget?
• Capacity – does it fit your intended number of guests?
• Convenience of location – is it easy for guests to reach?
• Accommodation – are there plenty of hotels or B&Bs if people want to stay overnight?
• Catering – are food and drink included with the reception venue, or will you need to hire external caterers?

Step 2: start planning

Once you’ve settled on a venue, you’ll have to decide how to plan the main aspects of your big day. A South African wedding planner may be more expensive but will care for your needs, giving you less work and stress. This is also the best option if you are having a destination wedding; foreign couples lack local contacts and may face a language barrier.

However, it is your big day, and you can take care of things yourself if you want to.

In that case, you’ll need to make a list and timetable of what needs to be done by when. Make sure to include all the services you’ll need to hire. This can be, for example, a photographer, a marriage officiant, a florist, hair and make-up, a band or DJ, caterers, and wedding insurance. It’s always best to shop around early to get the best deals.

South African weddings must also have at least two witnesses, so don’t forget to ask your person beforehand.

Step 3: assemble the necessary paperwork

Besides the creative planning, you’ll need to make sure all admin and paperwork is in order. Most importantly, you should book your marriage officer to perform the ceremony. Do this at least five to six months before the wedding. Some couples also prefer to have a backup officiant just in case the first falls through.

Your marriage officer can be anyone with a license (e.g., a public officer or religious cleric). Once booked, you’ll liaise with them to discuss details during the lead-up to the wedding.

Expat couples or couples with at least one foreign partner must have a letter of non-impediment from their embassy as well. Make sure to request this way in advance, as some countries take a long time to process applications. It’s worth noting that some countries don’t supply letters of non-impediment (e.g., the UK and the US); in that case, a sworn affidavit made at the local police station will suffice.

As said before, you should also schedule and attend a marriage interview with your local DHA office.

Marital contracts in South Africa have a community of property by default. If you prefer to keep your assets separate, you should sign a valid prenup before the wedding.

Step 4: have your ceremony

With everything planned, all you need to do now is say, “I do,” and enjoy your big day. Don’t forget to bring the required documents to make it legally binding.

Step 5: register your marriage

After the ceremony, you must sign a bunch of forms to register your marriage or union and make things truly official.

Civil spouses will be entered into the Marriage Register and receive an abridged wedding certificate (form BI-27). Civil partners will be recorded in the Civil Union Register and get a civil union certificate (form DHA-1764). In both cases, the first issue of the document is free of charge. If you need extra copies or an unabridged certificate, you can request it from the DHA for additional payment.

You can then proceed to party and celebrate. The officiant will file the marriage with the DHA office, where it will be recorded in the South African National Population Register (NPR). This process usually takes up to a week but can take up to a month.

With customary marriages, the wedding party takes place before the legal certification. Instead, these nuptials can be registered after the wedding but within three months of the ceremony.

The bridal party (couple and two witnesses) must sign their marriage certificate (form BI-1699) at the DHA office or with the traditional leader. They will then receive the legally binding receipt (form BI-1700).

How much does a South African wedding cost?

Getting married in South Africa can be as cheap or expensive as you’d like. In 2021, couples spent an average of R200,000–250,000 tying the knot. Based on inflation rates, a South African wedding would cost around R240,000–300,000 in 2024.

A rough breakdown of typical costs is as follows:

• Venue costs – R40,000–100,000
• Officiant – R3,500–6,000
• Wedding planner – 10% of your budget
• Photographer – R25,000–55,000
• Dress and suit – R25,000–60,000
• Flowers – R25,000–70,000
• Wedding cake – R4,000–8,000
• Food and catering – R450–650+ per head
• Band or DJ – R8,000–15,000
• Gifts for guests – R45–100

If you’re on a tight budget, don’t panic. It’s still perfectly possible to get married in South Africa for far less. For example, a small ceremony with 20 guests can cost as little as R50,000. You can reduce the costs even further by hiring your wedding attire or asking a friend to do your hair and makeup.

Top wedding locations and venues in South Africa

South Africa is an astonishingly beautiful country with a huge array of romantic wedding venues and destinations. By law, couples can get married in a religious house, public office, or private house with open doors. In the case of serious illness or injuries, the wedding can also take place in a hospital or medical center.

Many people choose to get married in the wine country. The farm estates of the Western Cape Province are popular wedding destinations, offering lavish packages for couples and their guests. Coastal towns along the stunning Garden Route also provide the idyllic setting for a beach wedding.

If you’d rather prefer to get married in or near the mountains, you should explore options in the Northern Cape and Mpumalanga Provinces. Of course, there are also plenty of wedding venues in the cosmopolitan cities of Cape Town and Johannesburg.

You can search for great South African wedding venues online. Great places to start are Pink Book and SA Venues.

South African wedding traditions and customs

South Africa is a diverse, multi-cultural country with 63 million people (2024). So, it’ll come as no surprise that wedding traditions are many and varied.

Most modern couples combine ancient traditions with contemporary wedding rites. For example, most Black South Africans have both a traditional and White-European wedding.

Traditional Zulu weddings

The traditional Zulu wedding is steeped in customs and rituals that include public announcements, family processions, and community feasts. There are far too many to list here, and do them justice. However, the most significant aspects of a Zulu wedding include the bride’s dowry, family gift-giving, and the closing ceremony.

Couples usually start off their engagement with the groom’s payment of the bride’s lobola (i.e., the dowry). This normally takes the form of cattle and money, but it may also involve other things like jewelry, gold, and land. The groom’s relatives will then present gifts (izibizo) to the bride’s family and receive groceries in return (umbondo).

On the big day, the bride will be introduced to the groom’s ancestors in the morning. The ceremony typically starts around noon. After the service, there is food, speeches, and dancing. The bride’s family gifts presents to the groom’s relatives and the wedding guests.

The closing ceremony (umabo) is the most important element of a Zulu wedding. This allows the ancestors to recognize the union. It involves the bridal couple putting on a show that includes the groom hiding, the bride washing his feet and putting him to bed, and the groom running away.

Traditional Xhosa weddings

The traditional Xhosa wedding also comes with many customs and rituals. The three-day affair typically includes a lot of food and feasting. Again, other sources do the Xhosa wedding traditions more justice. However, the most important aspects include the bride’s dowry, community processions, spear-throwing, and wedding feasts.

Couples start off their engagement with the groom’s payment of the lobola dowry and the bride’s price (ikhazi). This is usually in the form of cows and money.

On the day before the wedding, the bridal party goes to the groom’s family, where they’ll stay until after the ceremony. There are some traditional rites, followed by a feast.

The next is the day of the wedding (umtshatso or umdundo). The bride covers herself in a blanket (ingcawa) and is taken by her family to the groom’s party for council (ukuyala). Following the ceremony, there’s a party with umqombothi (traditional liquor), singing, and dancing. The bride is given a spear to throw; this will introduce her to her groom’s ancestors.

The day after the wedding, the groom’s party receives gifts from the bride’s side, who go home. That evening, there is a second ceremony (utsiki), which is the most significant ritual of all. The bride is given goat meat and sour milk (ukudlisa/ukutyiswa amasi), which welcomes her as a daughter into the family.

Other wedding traditions

Depending on who you ask, there are other traditions you can incorporate into your South African wedding. These include:

• Bringing fire to the new home – both sets of parents carry fire from their home to that of the newly married couple, combine it, and start a new fire. This marks the start of their new life together.
• Karamu wedding feast – the meal after the wedding ceremony. It usually begins with the oldest man giving a blessing to the newly married couple and for the feast.
• Money dance – during the reception, the bride and groom will dance for as long as possible while guests shower them with money. The couple usually keeps the money to spend on gifts, although, in some cultures, the mother of the bride gets the cash.
• Traditional table decorations – a popular addition to wedding receptions; for example:
  • Four elements – four pots with lemon, vinegar, pepper, and honey, which guests are invited to taste. It symbolizes the everlasting love between the couple (i.e., for better or worse, et cetera).
  • Kola nuts – symbols of healing in South Africa and often hanging from a decorative branch at wedding reception tables
  • Twelve symbols of life – in African tradition, these are salt, pepper, wine, wheat, herbs, water, honey, a pot and spoon, a broom, a spear, a shield, and a copy of a religious book. The items represent a unity between two families.
• Wedding rings – similar to other cultures, South African weddings typically feature engagement and wedding rings. Often, the engagement ring is more ostentatious and worn only by the bride. Wedding rings are more simplistic in design and are worn by both the bride and groom.

South African marriage law and statistics

Three pieces of legislation form the legal basis of marriages in South Africa:

• Marriage Act of 1961 – legally permits marital union between a man and a woman
• Recognition of Customary Marriages Act of 1998 – recognizes marriages under Indigenous African customary law
• Civil Union Act of 2006 – legalizes same-sex marriages

In 2022, just under 30% of the adult South African population were married. The vast majority of all unions are civil marriages (94.2%), followed by customary marriages (3.7%) and civil unions (2.1%).

That said, civil marriages are becoming less common in South Africa. Between 2013 and 2022, the number of civil marriages dropped by 29.5%. By contrast, the number of customary marriages and civil unions increased. During that same period, customary marriages grew by 25.1% and civil unions by 147.8%.

In 2022, a total of 20,196 divorces were granted. This is about 17% of all new marriages.

Public attitudes toward marriage

Although marriage is becoming less popular in South Africa, and its importance is slowly declining, people still strongly support it as a concept.

A 2022 study found that just over 75% of South Africans disagreed with the statement that marriage is an outdated institution. Around 48% disagreed that divorce is the best solution to marital problems, and 60% disagreed with the idea of long-term cohabitation as a good alternative to marriage.

Some public attitudes toward marriage are less woke. The same study reports that 30% of respondents opposed the idea of interracial marriages. This figure rises to 53% among white respondents. Moreover, a 2023 IPSOS survey found that only 57% of the population supports same-sex marriage. Roughly 19% believe that LGBTQ+ unions should not receive any legal recognition.

Useful resources

• Department of Home Affairs – official government website for the department that deals with South African marriages and wedding certificates
• Guide to completing the SA marriage register – booklet with more information on getting married in South Africa