Online dating for expat men can make it a lot easier (and fun) to find romance while overseas.
Living abroad while single can mean adventure, an exciting career, and…a bit more trouble finding a date. But don’t despair – there are plenty surefire ways to find a date.
The first step is to join a trusted expat online dating site, such as Expatica Dating, in your foreign country. Second, create a great online dating profile. Next, read a few international dating tips for men – finally, you’ll be set to meet the expat woman of your dreams.
1. Catch her attention
The first piece of online dating advice for men is to post a few friendly, flattering (but realistic) pictures.
Once you have found an appealing profile, make the effort to write a thoughtful message. When dating as an expat ‘in real life,’ you might face language barriers. But most expat online dating sites are in English, so there’s nothing to hold you back from expressing yourself.
“Lots of men just send a message saying, ‘Hello love, how are you doing?'” says expat Jess, who’s been online dating for six months, “and it made me wonder if they’d even read my profile.”
On the other hand, it’s good dating advice for men not to bore her with your entire life story, which could also make you seem needy. It’s better to save some material to talk about on your first date (fingers crossed!).
Remember to show you’re curious about her, too, by asking questions to keep conversation flowing. As expat singles, you’re both in a foreign country, so you should have plenty to talk about – whether that’s life back home or your experience as expats in your international setting.
Also, a casual tone is fine, but good grammar and spelling will show you’re intelligent and put-together.
2. Follow her cues on pacing
It can be more challenging to find a partner as an expat, but an importance piece of online dating advice for men is not to act too eager. Playing hard to get won’t win her over either, but you should avoid appearing too desperate or intense by replying very frequently or quickly.
“One man started talking as if we were having this heavy relationship although we’d only exchanged a couple of emails,” says Kirsten, who found her partner Ali online. “I’d never spoken to him or met him, yet he said he was in love with me. Ridiculous.”
The typical pacing of relationships can vary in different cultures, but expat men can avoid this kind of culture clash in online dating by taking cues from potential dates.
3. Don’t introduce sex into the conversation
Sex talk in the getting-to-know-you stage is a not a smart move. Leave it up to her to bring up this delicate subject. This is an especially important tip for online dating for men, because you may encounter women from very different countries, and their cultures could have different expectations regarding dating and sex. You don’t want to drive away a promising expat date before you get to know her.
If you do go bring up sex, be prepared that she might be turned off, not on.
“He suddenly started making suggestive remarks,” says Jess. “I’d thought he was really nice up until then, but that repulsed me.”
4. Honesty and modesty are the best policy
You don’t need to talk up your job, your bank account or the car you drive to impress a woman. Boasting isn’t attractive. Instead, the wisest international dating tip for men is to make the most of what you do have. Be confident about your good points, whether that’s your ability to whip up delicious dishes from your home country, your prowess in running marathons, your skill with the local language or the sense of adventure that inspires you to travel.
It should go without saying, but never tell her you’re single when you’re in a relationship with someone else. Honesty is a courtesy you expect from your potential partner, so pay her the same respect. Besides, expat communities can be tightly knit, so it’s better not to burn bridges. She will find out the truth in the end.
5. Play the field, but don’t overdo it
Finding romance can be harder for expat men than for people in their home countries, so you want to increase the possibilities by keeping all your options open.
There’s nothing wrong with chatting and flirting online with more than one woman at a time – but don’t be tempted to send standard replies to them all or start too many conversations at once. Would you like it or find it attractive if your potential date behaved this way? If not, you shouldn’t do it either.
“He kept asking me the same questions about my job. He clearly couldn’t remember I’d told him twice before,” says Kirsten. “And once, unbelievably, there was another woman’s name on the email.”
Showing that you value a woman is much more likely to land an expat man an actual date – and potentially a second and a third.
If, however, the chemistry isn’t there when you meet in person, the piece of online dating advice for men to remember is not to give up! Find another appealing profile and give it a shot again.
For more tips on online dating, read Expatica’s expat dating series: