Searching for a potential mate online can be intimidating no matter where you are. How can you prepare yourself when you wade into the world of digital dating while abroad? Consult these online dating tips for men.
Living abroad while single can mean adventure, an exciting career, and, sadly, a bit more trouble finding a date. But don’t despair – there are plenty surefire ways to find a date. The first step is to join a trusted expat online dating site, such as Expatica Dating, in your new country. Second, create a great online dating profile. Next, read a few online dating tips for men; finally, you’ll be set to meet the expat woman of your dreams.
Online dating tips for men: catch her attention
The most important of the online dating tips for men is to post a few friendly, flattering, realistic photos of yourself; representing yourself accurately limits opportunities for disappointment with a potential date. Once you’ve found an appealing profile, make the effort to write a thoughtful message. When dating as an expat in real life, you might face language barriers. Most expat-oriented dating sites are in English, though, so there’s nothing to hold you back from expressing yourself.
Online dating is a place where you want to stand out. Plenty of men just send an uninspired message, asking a potential match how they are or using a run-of-the-mill compliment. While these might seem polite to send, it might send the wrong message to a woman, ranging anywhere from “I didn’t read your profile” to “I am messaging everyone I can and hoping someone responds.”
On the other hand, you don’t necessarily want to bore her with your entire life story, which could make you seem needy. It’s better to save some material to talk about on your first date.
Remember to show you’re curious about her, too, by asking questions to keep conversation flowing. As expat singles, you’re both in a foreign country, so you should have plenty to talk about – whether that’s life back home or your experience as expats in your international setting.
Also, a casual tone is fine, but good grammar and spelling will show you’re intelligent and put-together.
Follow her cues on pacing
It can be more challenging to find a partner as an expat, but it’s important to not to act too eager. Playing hard to get won’t win her over, either, but you should avoid appearing too desperate or intense by replying very frequently or quickly.
Women might interpret rapid-fire responses in a negative light; to them, it may seem as though you think that the relationship is quite serious when, in fact, it isn’t. You probably aren’t in love with her after a week of trading messages online, so don’t give her the impression that you think that.
The typical pacing of relationships varies from culture to culture. Expat men can avoid this kind of culture clash in online dating by taking cues from potential dates.
Don’t introduce sex into the conversation
Sex talk in the getting-to-know-you stage isn’t a smart move. Leave it up to her to bring this delicate subject up. Considering the fact that you’ll encounter women from different countries; as a result, their cultures could have different expectations regarding sexual encounters. You don’t want to drive away a promising date before you get to know her.
If you do bring up the topic of sex anyways, be prepared that she might be turned off, not on. For many women, talking about sex with someone that they’ve only known for a short amount of time can trigger some disgust.
Honesty and modesty are the best policy
You don’t need to talk up your job, your bank account, or the car you drive to impress a woman. One of the best online dating tips for men is to be humble: boasting isn’t attractive. Instead, make the most of what you do have. Be confident about your strong points, whether that’s your ability to whip up delicious dishes from your home country, your prowess in running marathons, your skill with the local language, or the sense of adventure that inspires you to travel.
This should go without saying, but it’s worth repeating: never tell her you’re single when you’re in a relationship with someone else. At the same time, be clear open if you’re dating after a divorce. Honesty is a courtesy you expect from your potential partner, so pay her the same respect. Besides, expat communities can be tightly knit, so it’s better not to burn bridges. She will find out the truth in the end.
Play the field, but don’t overdo it
Finding romance can be harder for expat men than for people in their home countries. You’ll want to increase the possibilities by keeping all of your options open.
There’s nothing wrong with chatting and flirting online with more than one woman at a time. That being said, don’t be tempted to send standard replies to them all or start too many conversations at once. Would you appreciate it if your potential date behaved this way? If not, you shouldn’t do it either.
“He kept asking me the same questions about my job. He clearly couldn’t remember I’d told him twice before,” says Kirsten. “And once, unbelievably, there was another woman’s name on the e-mail.”
Showing that you value a woman is much more likely to land an expat man an actual date – and potentially a second, a third, or even a romantic Valentine’s Day.
If, however, the chemistry isn’t there when you meet in person, the best of all the online dating tips for men to remember is not to give up! Find another appealing profile and give it a shot again.