Are you ready for Swiss citizenship? Or do you know what the C permit is?
I would like to apply for my C permit a year ahead of time because in four short years, I have become more Swiss than some Swiss. I realise this is not ‘the rule’ and may involve special votes and über-democratic procedures, so here is my reasoning for your fellow citizens to consider:
- If a tram is one-minute late, I feel like I’m going to have a heart attack.
- I have personally dug out a Schweizer Familie Feuerstelle, buried under five-feet of snow, and proceeded to cook fondue over a wood fire to the amazement of passing Swiss snowshoers (see photo).
- I can now eat an entire cervelet in one sitting.
- When I’m invited somewhere, I now wait outside said person’s door until the nearest clock tower dings our agreed meeting time. And then I ring the bell one second later.
- Last year my gutters were so clean I could drink from them but I still went out and bought a CHF 6 bottle of water anyway.
- I often start capitalising all English Nouns.
- I consider paying CHF 60 (USD 60) for dinner a ‘good deal’.
- I also consider a savings of 10 percent reason enough to run an advertisement in a newspaper.
- I have gone to two Tunnelfests.
- Finally, I make sure to crowd the door when a train arrives so that the people trying to get off the train can’t.
Anyhow, thanks for your consideration and I look forward to being one step closer to citizenship.