"Online dating after divorce"

Expat tips for online dating after divorce

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Getting back out there after a divorce can feel daunting, especially as an expat.

It doesn't matter if your marriage lasted 20 years or one, if it was amicable or acrimonious, or whether or not you have kids: the most important thing about dating after divorce is that you feel ready to do so.

 

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Expat divorce can be hard, and you’re not alone

It’s understandable that divorced singles might feel lonely at times – even more so as an expat. The number of expat divorces is unclear, but it’s indisputable that expat status can add a sizable stressor to an already difficult situation.

Whether both spouses were living abroad together, or one is native to the country they were living in, divorce in an international setting tends to cause more complications than usual, e.g. separating assets and determining the best custodial arrangements for kids. Moreover, at least one of the spouses, if not both, is far from their support circle back home when they need it most.

After the divorce, you deserve an ‘I’m a survivor’ moment – after that, it’s time to look ahead.

Expat dating after divorce: moving on

Now that you’re free, take a bit of time for yourself. Practice self-care, perhaps by taking walks, getting a massage or changing up your hairstyle. When you’re ready, you can take on the dating world again.

You might be anxious about how things have changed since you last had a date, let alone how to find love after divorce in a foreign country. Keeping up with friends – especially singletons – can buoy your spirits and get you out, increasing your chances of meeting someone new. Still, the chances of divorced expats finding love this way aren’t great.

Fortunately, online dating after divorce is now a common way for new singles to meet. Expats who work long hours or divorced expat parents who can’t easily get out to mingle may find that a trusted online dating site such as Expatica Dating really helps – and even make finding romance fun.

Dating in a foreign country can have unique challenges, particularly the language barrier, but online dating after divorce on an expat dating site lets you bypass some of those issues. Remember that all expats are far from home, so the dating pool is generally open-minded and equally eager to find love.

Channel the sense of adventure and curiosity you felt when first moving overseas. Online dating after divorce lets expats meet people from all over the world, potentially with fascinating stories to tell. As a bonus, you have terrific options for interesting international dates: just make sure that your first date is in a public setting and tell a friend where you’re meeting to be on the safe side.

Online dating for divorced parents: it’s all good

Newly single expat parents eyeing online dating shouldn’t be concerned that other expats will be put off by the fact that you have kids. On the contrary, you might find other divorced singles with kids who will be relieved that you have parenthood in common. You might also find that when you’re looking for love after divorce, potential dates just don’t mind if you have kids, especially if they’re a little bit older. 

Honesty is the best policy in online dating for divorced parents, so don’t hide the fact that you have kids. At the same time, people want to get to know you – not your kids – first and foremost, so your profile and messages should talk about you as a person, not your babies. If all goes well, you can tell your date all about your children when the moment’s right.

single parents dating

It’s natural to have concerns about how dating after divorce might affect your kids. Wait until you’re serious with someone new before introducing them to your little ones. If the children bond with your new partner, they could end up upset if you break up – so delay introductions until you feel your new relationship is stable and has long-term prospects.

Some kids may feel that the new partner is ‘replacing' their other parent or worry that you won't love them as much. Be patient and reassuring.

There are a host of resources for families affected by divorce: even Sesame Street offers tools to make it easier, and you can find more guidance online or at the library. It may be hard to find resources specifically for families affected by expat divorce, but talking with another family that lives overseas and has been through it or with a counsellor can help.

That said, expat kids can be resilient, and kids thrive when their parents are happy. Remember that you’re not just a parent, but a person with your own life to live – so go ahead and take a chance at finding love after divorce with online dating.

For more tips on online dating, read Expatica's expat dating series:

 Photo credits: Urban Woman Mag (shy girl), Onkelbo (father and son)

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