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Latest question answered:

Steve Whittaker
Steve Whittaker

Hi Steve, my sister, a Dutch citizen, has separated from her husband (a Dutch national) a few months ago. They had a mediator that seemed to support him in every way and without verifying if there was any truth in his statements. They have been married for more than 24 years and he was cruel and abusive for most of their married life. The money he gives her monthly is just enough to cover some bills. The abuse that went on in their life was intolerable. He owns and lives in a luxurious mansion with sauna, movie theatre, party room, swimming pool and guest house. Even the wallpaper is made of the best leather available. He has a few sports cars and keeps buying them. He tells my sister that he is broke. He has had excellent jobs always at managerial levels and used to travel all over the world. He lost his job, the company took him to court and he lost his job. it was in the news. My sister was never involved in any of this and the courts know it but because of her last name (his husband's), she cannot get a job. She had slept in her car, in a bathtub in his house, she had to go to McDonald's just to get free Wi-Fi. He tried to set her up in a horrible dirty apartment with no Wi-Fi but now agree to let her live in an apartment that they both own with a huge mortgage. The husband's father who was a well-known businessman, now retired, lives next door to his son and between the two of them made my sister's life very difficult. They both keep telling my sister that the husband is broke but new cars, trips and just the everyday upkeep of such a huge mansion doesn't quite fit the picture. I am desperate and tired of sending her money while he lives in such luxury. Can you please give me some advice. Thank you very much for taking your time to read this message. All the best

by DELIA ANEZ on 04 Apr 2018 Read Answer
Steve Whittaker
Steve Whittaker

Dear Steve,
Thanks for your time and expertise.
I bought a house with a dutch woman. We're never married, Fiscal partners I believe, in the eyes of NL.
We have 2 mortgages, one in each of our names that together are the mortgage of the house. For 10 years I lived alone in and paid 100% everything, paid the interest on the loan in her name, the VVE fee, etc... We wanted to sell but we're deeply underwater.
For 3 years now she has moved in and assumed financially managing the asset.
Now she wants to sell and insists that whatever proceeds are made, which might be €10k or so, are divided 50/50.
I propose that we split any proceeds as per what we each invested, so a ratio of 10:3.
I'm hoping my proposal has legal grounds, as she is very greedy and entitled, even thought I should readily pay the loss of €20k when the market was different. She calls me a "Rich Bitch" but fails to realise I was working 60 hours a week while she chooses to work just 28, then golf and go swimming. Anyway... I'm now income-less for 2 years, by choice, and lkiving off of my own savings. Whether I have the money or not, it's about the principle.
Cheers,
Jen

by Jen Buffington on 17 Mar 2018 Read Answer
Steve Whittaker
Steve Whittaker

Hello Steve,

I am an American citizen married to a UK citizen (with American Green Card). We moved to Amsterdam about a year ago with our 6 year old son (born in US).

I would like to move back to the US & my wife wants to stay here. Of course I want to move back with my son & my wife wants him here. I am wondering if it's best to contact counsel in the US or here in Netherlands?

Thank you

by Jason on 23 Feb 2017 Read Answer
Steve Whittaker
Steve Whittaker

Dear Steve,

My question concerns sharing the upbringing of my child with my soon-to-be-ex-wife. I am a UK citizen. My wife is Dutch. We have been married nearly 11 years, having met in The Netherlands and lived here continuously. We have one son, aged 9. My wife and I separated a year ago and she filed for divorce. To date she has refused mediation although I sense that she might be mellowing on this point. We have yet to have our first court hearing about the formal divorce petition, which is scheduled in a few months' time. In the meantime, we have had two hearings as regards temporary measures, the outcome of which is that the district court ordered that my son should live with her and I can see him for 7 hours on a Saturday i.e. no required overnight stays. This has been going on now for nearly a year. In the meantime, my wife refuses all contact with me and makes all decisions regarding our son without consulting or even informing me. I have been reduced essentially to the role of a babysitter once per week (although don't get me wrong - I treasure every moment with my son) and I do not believe I can be an effective father in these circumstances. My wife has documented problems with alcohol and anger management, resulting in several police visits to our house during our marriage, the last one resulting in her arrest and an overnight stay in jail for being drunk and disorderly in the middle of the night just before we separated. On the other hand, and only for the sake of brevity, I think i could be called a "model citizen" without boasting. I have a steady and successful record of employment. I have never been arrested or charged with anything. I have never physically abused my wife or son. I frequently looked after my son during our marriage and there is absolutely no evidence to suggest that I pose any risk to my son. I am available full-time (I work from home with completely flexible hours). And yet the court seems biased even against an arrangement of visitation with me for, say four nights every second weekend. The judge even stated during one of the hearings that my wife need not consult with me about my son (which I even thought was a law in The Netherlands) allegedly because we have difficulty communicating. But that is her choice, not mine. I welcome an open, regular and friendly dialogue with her. But instead the court has given her a strong incentive never to engage in such communication. My lawyer seems more interested in covering her behind and managing down my expectations. Yet despite it all, as a devoted father, I am having trouble giving up hope. As I look around the court systems of the developed world, this kind of apparent judicial indifference to the relationship between a child and an interested, caring, capable and available father seems out of place to say the least. So my questions to you are: (1) what is your take on this apparent bias in the Dutch family court system; (2) what do you think my prospects are for achieving overnight stays at some point; and (3) is it not the case that the child also has a right to equal access to both parents in The Netherlands? I thought they even had a law about that too. In case it matters, I am fortunate enough financially to be able to continue to litigate this matter endlessly. But what is the point if the general legal climate in this county is that "a child belongs with its mother" and the father is lucky if gets to see the child at all, let alone have some more meaningful role in his life. I might as well use the money for some other worthy cause because my cause indeed looks hopeless most days. I look forward to any plain-spoken insight you can provide. Gratefully yours, D.D.

by Desparate Dad on 22 Feb 2017 Read Answer
Steve Whittaker
Steve Whittaker

Hi Steve
I married my wife in 1994 in the UK (we are both British). After the marriage broke down my wife moved to the Netherlands and told me that she had applied for and obtained a Dutch divorce at the beginning of 2004. I received no notification from anyone and do not now where she is living. Will the divorce have been registered somewhere in the |Netherlands or back in the UK) and if so how best can I go about obtaining this information as I now wish to remarry?
Chris

by Chris Berry on 16 Feb 2017 Read Answer
Steve Whittaker
Steve Whittaker

Dear Steve, me and my fiance (both EU citizen but not dutch) living in the Netherlands for few years are planning to get married and buy an apartment. We might buy it before the wedding and we will ask for a mortgage under my fiance's name since he has permanent contract. I am working but my contract is still temporary. If he buys an apartment and we get married, have a children etc, and in case we will break up/divorce do I have a right to the apartment or do we need to sign an agreement before? Thank you for your answer.

by sundew on 30 Jan 2017 Read Answer
Steve Whittaker
Steve Whittaker

Hi Steve,

I am a UK citizen married to a Dutch woman. However we would now like to divorce. We were married in the UK but we both live in Amsterdam. I am finding it hard to find clear information on weather we can file for divorce here in the Netherlands or if we must do so in the UK. If you were able to advise if we need to file for divorce in the UK or if we can do it here in NL that would be great.

Thank you

by Theo Pickles on 30 Jan 2017 Read Answer
Steve Whittaker
Steve Whittaker

Dear Steve,
My friend Tom had married a Moroccan woman in 2015 and they got divorced in 2016, he needs to pay her alimony since then but he doubts that she is still in Holland and found another Dutch man, in that case he need not pay her any alimony but his problem is that how can he get to know about her resident card status . One year back he informed at IND about their divorce. And when he enquired about her status of resident card then in IND nobody helped him. So will you please tell me the process to follow or whom to contact for this.
Regards,
Sudipta

by Sudipta dash on 13 Jan 2017 Read Answer
Steve Whittaker
Steve Whittaker

Hello Mr Whittaker,
My sister and her husband are expats living in Amsterdam. I believe they've been there for 5 years or more. He came on a job visa but has now left the job to set up his own business. She came as his spouse and studied for her Masters degree there. They have been together for over 11 years and married for about 10 years. They have no kids.
Her husband has been putting her through extreme mental torture lately, and has pretty much destroyed her self esteem. Now he has informed her he will be divorcing her. She is positive that he is involved with another woman who was part of his life before (until she got married), and now that that woman is divorced he has rekindled their relationship. She has no concrete proof though as he has deleted all texts etc.
Recently my sister and her husband built a house together in Amsterdam. They only moved in to the house in Sept 2016.
My Qs are:
1. In case of divorce, as my sister has absolutely zero income, what options are available to her in terms of getting a lawyer? Would the state provide her with one free of charge?
2. What would be her financial right w/ re: to the house as well as alimony? Is she eligible to receive alimony? Is her husband obligated to sell the house and give her 50% of the proceeds? Im not sure under whose name the house is at the moment.
3. What will be her status in Amsterdam once the divorce goes through since she does not have the nationality and she came on a spouse visa? What does she have to do if she wants to continue to live there?

Please could you shed light on these as well as any other relevant aspects of the divorce proceedings in Amsterdam?

My apologies that I am asking these Qs on her behalf, but she is almost at the point of a nervous breakdown right now, and in no condition to be practical. He doesnt want to live with her and as she has no where else to go she will be leaving the country and going to visit our parents for a while very soon, within a week in fact. She needs to know all this information before she leaves in case some actions need to be taken ASAP before she leaves.

Thank you very much for your help. I hope to hear from you soon.

by Safia on 06 Jan 2017 Read Answer
Steve Whittaker
Steve Whittaker

Dear Steve,

Until 2.5 years ago I was in a 10 year narcissistic relationship with a Dutch man (I am British). During the period we were together we never married, we did not sign a partnership agreement and we did not register with the Gemente as living together (he had his house and I had mine). He is now threatening me that he has contacted a divorce lawyer and he has a nasty surprise for me. My guess is that he intends to come after me for money as he knows I have overseas assets. Does he have any legal grounds to do this?

by Anne on 30 Dec 2016 Read Answer

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