Things French-speakers say when they’re mad

In place of insulting someone’s mother, instead get grandma involved when getting mad in French. Tell them how you really feel in French!

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Go and cook yourself an egg: Va te faire cuire un œuf

We’d like you to get lost – but we don’t want you to starve.

Do I ask you if your grandma bikes? Est-ce que je te demande si ta grand-mère fait du vélo?

Mind your own damn business.

It makes my leg look so pretty: Ça me fait une belle jambe

If your words had the power to get rid of my cellulite, I’d care what you’re talking about.

I care about it like I care about my very first shirt: Je m’en fous comme de ma première chemise

That’s what you dare not say when your in-laws ask if you would like to see our holiday slides?

I’m getting swollen by this: Ça me gonfle

Half way into the slide show.

Is my ass made of chicken? Et mon cul, c’est du poulet?

Do not answer this question. Bow your head in forgiveness for the lies you told or run very fast.

I’m going to ring their bells: Je vais lui sonner les cloches

You’ll be yelled at so hard that all you’ll hear is a heavy ringing in your ears.

Don’t push grandma in stinging nettle: Faut pas pousser mémé dans les orties

You’re going way too far.

We did not look after the pigs together: On a pas gardé les cochons ensemble

So don’t take any liberties with me, will ya?

It’s hanging at the tip of your nose: Ça te pend au bout du nez

Watch out because someone is about to slap you.

Mustard is coming up my nose! La moutarde me monte au nez

When someone is upset, imagine their face is gradually turning red as the mustard rises.