As Scottish travel writer Alastair Reid observes in his book 'Whereabouts – notes on being a foreigner': "Learning a foreign language is a process of slowly divesting oneself of scaffolding. In the end, something stands up by itself and, if it is lucky walks away."

Certainly, learning a language isn't just about learning the grammar, you need to open up on an emotional level as well and take on a new 'persona' along with the language.

Languages are like people, we feel an attraction to some more than to others. The language that 'fits' your personality, or that you feel drawn to most is the one you will be most willing to lose yourself in, and therefore learn.

I lived in France for seven years before coming to The Netherlands and after some effort, got to grips with the French language. Once I was fluent I really enjoyed speaking French through the 'persona' I adopted while in 'French mode'.

However, my Dutch persona has eluded me so far.

I have been so 'undutchable' that I even blocked reading 'The UnDutchables', a book which takes a humorous as well as accurate view of 'the Netherlands, its culture and its inhabitants', and which was presented to me one birthday, much to my surprise, by a Dutch friend of mine.

At the time I remember feeling mildly insulted by the gift. After all, being given such a book is a statement in itself, especially after you've been living a few years in the Netherlands. The message I received – a projection of my paranoia of course, was, "You are hopeless at integrating into Holland and you certainly have no ability for learning the Dutch language."

I slipped the book 'untouched' into my book shelf and blocked it out.

A few months later, upon considering that the Dutch gift-giver was a sensitive and intelligent individual, who must have had some good reason for giving me such a gift, I glanced inside and read a snippet – the section about Dutch toilets - and found the observations extremely funny as well as true.  Joining the herd, I went further and read more.

The existence of this book isn't the only confirmation of the love-hate relationship which flourishes between the Dutch and even willing settlers. The majority of my non-Dutch friends have confessed to finding the language difficult to learn, and the culture difficult to grasp, despite being given an open door .

After all, foreigners are given ample opportunity to take Dutch language lessons, despite finding it difficult to be allowed to actually practice the language on the street and with Dutch friends.

For instance, if you want to learn Dutch and live in Amsterdam, just call 0800 223 3223 and you will get through to Taal Werkt! (www.taalwerkt.amsterdam.nl), a government subsidised project, which has been running for four years and which entitles foreigners to a minimum of 120 hours of free Dutch lessons. The only requirement is that you are legally able to work in Amsterdam, which means you will have a burgerservicenummer (BSN) (which has replaced the old fiscal sofi-number).

I signed up for Dutch lessons with Taal Werkt! in June 2006 and the language lessons are beginning to work. My Dutch is improving.

[Note: since this article was written things have changed - read Where to find a Dutch course and  A guide to Dutch immigration and residency regulations.]

Finally I'm allowing myself to arrive in the Netherlands instead of, like the majority of my Dutch friends, wishing I were somewhere else, preferably warmer, which is actually a good sign as it shows that I am beginning to think like a Dutch person.

So tell yourself, 'the door is wide open – I only have to allow myself to enter', which is something the Dutch are evidently expert at.

A British friend of mine, who says the Dutch come across as both "friendly and caring" people, was struck by one thing during a visit to Amsterdam this weekend.

"If you open a door for some one to pass through, they just keep moving through as long as you stand there," he said.

Natasha Gunn

5 February 2007

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[Copyright Expatica 2007]

Subject: Editor's diary, language learning, learning the Dutch language