Dutch food , oh no! says Nepalese student Mira Poudel, who comes to Holland to join her sister, and finds dressing like the Dutch and the climate hard to handle. But the canals and the sea bring her closer to God.

Mira Poudel

Name: Mira Poudel
Nationality: Nepalese
Residence: Amsterdam
Date of birth: 14-4-1980
Civilian status: single
Study: Biology, University of Amsterdam and Dutch language course.
Work: Co-owner Sabina Handicraft shop and voluntary worker for Nepalsathi.
Living in the Netherlands since 2001.
 

So cold without you

When I arrived in the Netherlands it was summertime and I thought it would always be such nice weather. I was very happy that first summer in the Netherlands, but the autumn and winter after were a come down. In Nepal it's always around 27 Degrees Centrigrade, so that's what I am used to.

I decided to come to the Netherlands to study because I am close to my sister, who immigrated to the Netherlands a couple of years before. I missed her terribly. We had always been together and suddenly she was so far away.

Technology in Nepal is not very advanced, so calling her or sending emails was difficult.  Instead we wrote very long letters. One day, when I received a letter of 12 pages from her, I decided to move to the Netherlands!

We made a compromise. Should I not last in the Netherlands we would go back to Nepal together.

I study Biology at the University of Amsterdam (UVA). Besides, I run a shop in handmade things from Nepal and India together with my sister. Also I do a lot for Nepalsathi, a foundation that helps poor children in Nepal.

Dressing like the Dutch

A Dutch woman, whom I have known for years because she often visited us in Nepal, gave me a tour of Amsterdam. First we went to the red light district. I found that horrible and immediately shouted: "I don't want to stay here!" I don't understand woman who sell their bodies in such a way. It is really the opposite of our culture. In Nepal, Woman cover their bodies with long dresses - sari's - which have three quarter-length sleeves and are buttoned up to the neck. Also the women in Nepal are dressed like real woman, beautiful and elegant.

Here you can't see whether a man or a woman is approaching you from a distance.

But I can understand why it is like that! The weather is so bad that "a lady can't be a lady". After all your health is more important than your beauty. I just got here by scooter for instance, so it is impossible to wear a dress then. And besides I can't do anything with my hair because I have to wear a helmet. And it is raining as well so I have to wear extra clothing because I would get filthy and wet otherwise.

So now I dress like a Dutch woman, but I do miss my dress. But I have to say Dutch women look like butterflies in the summer!

The shop Mira runs

Love letters

I have got used to most things in the Netherlands but there is one thing I won't ever get used to, and that is the uncommitted sex men and women have here. One of the partners has to feel unhappy about that. Here a real relationship starts in bed while at home it starts with a love letter.

The marriages are still arranged and the girls are still virgins on their wedding day. I believe in long-lasting relations and I can see, even here in the Netherlands, they give the most satisfaction

Behaving like a man

In Nepal a woman doesn't have much freedom and she can't really say and do what she likes because the respect for the husband is more important. It is not normal when you stay unmarried in Nepal. All my classmates were married in 2005 except for me! I really like to be independent but it is also difficult. When you are married you are a "queen ", life is comfortable and easy. Your man gives you money and jewellery and that gives you the energy to look after him and to make food for him when he comes home.

When you want to be independent as a woman, you have to behave like a man: don't care too much about other people, be selfish, fight if you have to and don't care about your appearance.

Dutch food , oh no!

I don't like Dutch food because there are no spices in it. The food in Nepal has no chemicals in it, it comes right from the ground and the taste is perfect and original. When I walk around in the supermarket here, I actually don't want to buy anything. Organic shops however are too expensive for me.

In Nepal I never used make-up but here I sometimes put on a bit of 'rouge' on my cheeks. I don't look that healthy anymore because of the bad weather and the staying inside. My mother is also not taking care of me anymore concerning food!

When I want to do sports I go to a disco because I can dance there and I love doing that. That is the only reason why I go. I find a subscription for the gym too expensive, and with a sporting club you're stuck with fixed times which I can't make due to my busy lifestyle.

Discos are for tourists

In Nepal there also are discos, but only in the touristy areas, and they are only open in the day time from 13:00 to 18:00. At first, my brother didn't want to take me there when I asked him, but finally we went there anyhow.

Women rarely go out because they entertain at home and welcome friends and relatives to talk to. They feel more comfortable there and it is cosier. They are the queen of the house! Only men go out to meet friends.

One of the nicest experiences here in the Netherlands is the sea. When you ask me to come along to Zandvoort I immediately say yes! Nepal doesn't connect to the sea, so for me it is very special.

Closer to God

When I made a canal cruise for the first time my Dutch friends told me the canals were man-made. I was amazed; we got into a big discussion of course because I could not believe there were no natural waterways. I had never seen such thing in Nepal. People always tried to copy God of course, but this was a very good example!

In the houses it struck me that the staircases were so steep and narrow. You climb the Himalayas every day! I wondered how people got their things up into the houses. But it turned out that was what the hooks that are on the outside of the houses were used for. What a funny idea.

Dutch soccer is serious business

I noticed people in the Netherlands first think of the country before they think of themselves. I mean for example a Dutch soccer player makes a lot of money because it is for the name and fame of the country. I really think the scholarship payments you can get here are great as well. In Nepal your family has to pay for it all. I really like that about the Netherlands.

Family life is everything

Of course I'm going back to Nepal, that's my home! I can't imagine staying here. Also in Nepal I want to be my own boss just like my sister and I are here in Holland.

I definitely want to be with my family again, they were all crying when I left. I know of some friends here they only see their family at Christmas. They are to busy with their own lives. That's difficult for me to understand, family is everything in my culture.

11 May 2007

Mira Poudel told her story to Nicole van Schaijik, who owns and operates Talent Taaltrainingen (Dutch Language Courses), based in Amsterdam (www.talent-tn.nl).
(Tel: 020 420 66 59or email: info@talent-tn.nl).

Translated from the Dutch language by David van Bakergem.

[Copyright Expatica 2007]

Subject: Expat profiles