Our 'almost colleague' Allison Mistica tells the story of how she nearly became an expat, and part of our editorial team.

When I moved to Holland in September 2007, I arrived with the intention of moving here. Originally from California, I met my Dutch boyfriend at my former company in Silicon Valley. Marcel was a temporary overseas intern from Arnhem Business School and I was a recent University of California, Los Angeles graduate at my first job after college. Meeting Marcel at work was not part of the plan. As my Mom warned, "He’s all the way from Europe. When he moves back, you will have to break up."

Of course I didn’t listen to my mother.

When Marcel and I started dating, I tried to have an attitude of "ces’t la vie!" and just live for the moment. But in the back of my mind, I felt dread. We shared something special yet I feared that we could be nothing more than a passing fling.

Then one evening over at Marcel’s apartment, he simply asked, "Will you move back with me to Holland?" I was so surprised and thrilled that I answered, "Yes!" immediately. Although we had only been dating a few months, I soon found myself on a one-way ticket to Amsterdam.

Upon arrival, I felt very anxious about applying for a residence permit. When Marcel and I found out from the IND that our situation did not merit an official residency for me, we were devastated. Believing we had a fair chance, we were struck with panic and grief. The idea that two people in love could not be together simply because they have different nationalities seemed ridiculous and unfair.

We needed to reconsider our options. Since Marcel and I were so intent on moving to the Netherlands and were temporarily living with his parents in Eindhoven, moving back to the US seemed almost unviable. With the threat of separation looming, we further explored the idea of relocating back to California. The US offered more options for us to stay together, so we quickly reshuffled our plans and focused our thoughts on going west. Most importantly, we also decided to get married to legitimise Marcel’s stay in the US.

At first, we wanted to get married as more of a formality, especially since we had only been dating several months. But with the support of our family and friends, the occasion became a more solemn affair. Although I did not get to stay in Holland, I am happy I got married here. With my new Dutch husband and in-laws, this California girl will always be bonded with the Netherlands. My husband and I plan on visiting every year – and eventually having Dutch-speaking children.   

9 January 2008

Allison van Gemert (formerly Allison Mistica) contributed articles to Expatica during her extended stay in the Netherlands.  

[Copyright Expatica 2008]