Happily married and monogamous now, Xaviera Hollander, aka The Happy Hooker, may have retired from one of ‘the world’s oldest businesses’, but she’s still pulling in the public. Natasha Gunn finds out some more about this 'bekende Nederlander' (well-known Dutch person).

I thought I’d try to find out something about Xaviera’s background without asking the inevitable questions about sex. But avoiding the subject of sex with someone who has helped millions improve their performance in the bedroom is difficult.  Xaviera Hollander is the author of bestselling book ‘The Happy Hooker’ the frank and explicit tale of her life as a ‘Madam’ in New York City in the swinging sixties. Also, for 35 years, she penned the Penthouse magazine column 'Call Me Madam'.  

Eighteen books later, Xaviera has just published sex-help book ‘The Happy Hooker's guide to sex - 69 orgasmic ways to pleasure a woman’.  This book, which shows guys what women want in bed, goes nicely with her book ‘Xaviera - On the best part of a man’, which Xaviera describes as “the ultimate ‘penis-book’, a great guide for women and gay men to learn what to do with a man's family jewels.”

Expatriated
Top secretary turned hooker, Xaviera gained notoriety in America as the powerful ‘Madam’ of a brothel in Manhattan.  Despite being thought of as a ‘Dutch export’ Xaviera has an international background.  She was born Xaviera de Vries in Java to a French-German mother and Dutch-Jewish father. During the Japanese occupation, she and her mother were confined in a prison camp in Indonesia while her father, a doctor, was imprisoned in another camp.

Something about the girl
In her book ‘Child no more’ Xaviera tells how she was fascinated by her father’s intelligence - he was an accomplished writer, a skill which Xaviera seems to have inherited, as well as psychiatrist. At home, Xaviera found herself competing for his attention with her mother, a model by profession and later a Sunday painter, who strictly guarded her against ‘contamination’.  She naturally rebelled against her mother’s ‘oppression’ – her mother’s way of protecting her - and in her own words “made up for lost time” later on and so the Happy Hooker story unfolded. Later in life, Xavier was reconciled with her mother and both have remained fiercely protective of one another.

The joys of marriage
After a tempestuous string of ‘affairs’, partnerships and marriages, Xaviera is now happily married to Dutch Jew Philip de Haan (ten years her junior), whose past jobs include social worker and jewellery-maker and who Xaviera describes as “the drive behind me” and “my right-hand man.”   

The lady who once used to think that marriage was an institution to be avoided now recommends it whole-heartedly. “Just find a ‘caring and considerate and loving man,” she says with a wide smile, indicating Philip who is quietly busy with some book-keeping in the background.

Love of the arts
"I love people," confesses Xaviera whose home is a veritable crossroads of people from all walks of life. Her Bohemian-style parties are notorious. Funnily enough, the séductrice par excellence neither drinks alcohol nor smokes, although she admits to a weakness for sweets and chocolates. 

Taking after her father in love of the arts, especially theatre, for ten years Xaviera hosted regular English language theatre performances in her home in Stadionweg, Amsterdam.  Her most recent brush with the theatre was in Spain where she teamed up with seasoned theatre producer Sherry Midas to co-produce English-language theatre play ‘Njinsky’s last dance’ by Norman Allen. Visit  Xaviera’s website to view the comments of the many expat theatre-goers who were thrilled with this one-man drama performed by Ricardo Melendez.

Still entertaining
Xaviera continues to exercise her talent for nurturing and entertaining guests through her successful bed and breakfast business. She also rents out a garden chalet, a luxurious oasis of calm which has been used as an escape route for expats in full divorce proceedings according to Xaviera, as well as a love nest. She rents out the chalet for a minimum of three days at a time. Her home is also available for seminars, dinner and cocktail parties and intimate soirees.

As writer Craig Somerfield writes in glossy hotel book 'Amsterdam Insight' in the chapter on the Redlight District, “…with Xaviera Holander you can never be sure if you are dealing with an Esther Gobseck from Honeré de Balzac’s ‘Splendour et misères des courtisanes’, or the fun-loving randy secretary from a doctor’s novel and harlequin romance.”

For the past 35 years, Xaviera has split her time between Holland and Marbella, Spain, where she has a luxury villa with swimming pool, a property which sleeps 12 and which she rents out from EUR 2500 – 4200 (peak season) per week.

Still coming out
The documentary about her life: 'Xaviera Hollander, the Happy Hooker, portrait of a sexual revolutionary' will be premiering at the Philadelphia Independent Film Festival on 27 June, and cooking up for release in around two years time is a musical on the Happy Hooker’s life with songs by London-based Dick Hanson and composer Warren Wills, who currently lives in Spain.

She is also working on the final part of her autobiography ‘Wall talk’, a collection of short stories about her life over 35 years in Amsterdam which features tales involving her various lovers, S&M parties, house-boys and B&B guests ("All names changed obviously,"  Xaviera quickly adds).  

Entrepreneur
Xaviera has long had a fascination with America and the ‘Great American Rip-off’. “There’s even a book out in America on crocheting called The Happy Hooker -I haven’t even bothered suing them for copyright of the name!” says Xaviera who has decided to cash-in on her own brand name in America herself and launch a line of clothes for the larger women which are both elegant and sexy.

“There is a high incidence of obesity of women in America, and big women are paying through the nose to get a halfway decent dress,” she says.

The release of the movie Sex and the City has stimulated Xaviera to team up with writer Katje van Dijk to produce what she describes as “an autobiographic guide for women over sixty who want to have fun”. Xaviera believes that older women should look after their bodies and develop themselves.  

“Sex is covered of course, but there’s more to life than sex,” she says.

17 June 2008  

For more information on Xaviera Hollander's life in her Happy Hooker days, and what she thinks about relations between the sexes today, read:

The Dutch version of Sex and the City.

[Copyright Expatica 2008]