My Dutch partner and I are awaiting the imminent arrival of our first child.  It is an incredibly exhilarating time in our lives. Now that we have everything ready, there is also sufficient time for reflection and naturally there lingers a trace of apprehension. Thoughts such as ‘Is the labour going to go smoothly?’ or ‘Am I going to be a good parent?’ even ‘What is the definition of a good parent anyway?’ all intertwine and flit around in my head.

Last Friday evening brought about the beginning of an intense series of contractions, implying that the new arrival would be forthcoming. This only lasted a mere twenty hours. Alas, it turned out to be a surge of pre-labour contractions. These developments have intensified our curiosity and impatience — we’re surely a mere matter of days away from holding our child, giving the first feed or tending to the first cry during the night.

Our own child — that we even have this opportunity is something to behold. Due to some complications a few years ago the likelihood of us ever having children was in the balance. It is amazing then and we are tremendously fortunate that the chance has arisen so soon. With great wonder I envisage the infinite possibilities awaiting our child; the passions and interests, the expressions and appearance…On a slightly selfish note; I cannot wait to see the initial interactions of the little one with the ‘otherness’ of English culture.

 Natural birth exercise during a course

We’ve had to make alterations to our lives and rearrange our future plans. We obtained a geregistreerd partnerschap only last month. This is largely the equivalent of marriage and ensures equal parental rights to the child. Yet in trying to explain what a geregistreerd partnerschap is, some will still ask ‘why not just get married?’ Due to the constraints of finances and time, a real marriage ceremony has been put on hold. And anyway, we’re perfectly happy as we are now. One can make plans for the future — mapping out the usual dreams and ambitions—but we’re overjoyed with the way events have unfolded for us.

Concern also surrounds my employment predicament.  I’m hastily finishing my Dutch study in order to broaden my job prospects in the country. Yet I know that in the current financial climate, that ideal job may be impossible to find. How are we going to cope with the additional costs a child inevitably brings? It is reassuring that my partner has a secure contract and that our rental costs are low — but I want to be earning enough too to support my family.  I would have preferred to have the security of a long-term job in place (before the onset of parenthood) but that simply doesn’t matter now. I’m willing to pick up whatever I can find— I currently spend the early morning/early evening hours delivering the national papers. It’s a start…a way in to the Netherlands working environment at least.

This week we attended our 'Samen Bevallen' course for the final time. The ten week course is for both partners and breaks down the processes involved in the latter weeks of pregnancy, and the stages of labour. An insightful and concisely conveyed course, it has broadened my knowledge of childbirth and I know I won’t feel half as helpless when labour begins. I highly recommend it— I was able to put everything I had learned into practice just last weekend after all! Our visits to the verloskundige (midwife) are now weekly; the kraamzorg (home care and assistance in the first week after labour) is arranged and we have the additional sense of security brought on by the choice of a hospital birth.

By talking together through all these concerns, I’m soon reassured. I realise that we are truly prepared — we’re going to be just fine. The baby room is furnished and awaits its new occupant; all the tiny clothes are washed, ironed and stacked in precisely folded piles; the webcam is ready for regular updates to family and friends in England; the house is clean and primed for action. Tremendous excitement, expectation and apprehension continue to clash in our thoughts.

All we need now is for the little one to arrive. I hope he/she is listening…we’re ready when you are!

Note: Naeva Inez Jackson was born at 21.38 on 19 May 2009. Mother and daughter are doing fine and are both in perfect health.

British expat Graham Jackson has lived in the Netherlands since  February 2008. A budding writer, he has a passion for music, film and literature.