Bitterballenbruid: 30 signs you're definitely Dutch
Just how Dutch are you? Moving to the Netherlands changes you in the strangest ways.
If you have lived in the Netherlands for a certain amount of time, you may find yourself exhibiting some strange new habits. Be warned: You are becoming Dutch!
Here are some signs to watch out for to tell how Dutch you've become.
How to tell you've gone Dutch
1. There are no longer excited yelps or screams in the car when passing a windmill.
2. You consider bread, cheese and a glass of milk a satisfying and well-balanced meal – it's a great calcium-rich lunch.
3. Net curtains – you don’t own them.
4. You will not allow people to say that oliebollen are doughnuts. Ever.
5. As a woman, you think that white leggings are a fashionable option for summer.
6. As a man, you think that coloured jeans are a fashionable option, period.
7. You don’t know what the Dutch two-tone sigh is, because you don’t even realise you’re doing it.
8. When eating something delicious, you wave frantically at your own face and say, "Lekker."
9. Chocolate sprinkles on bread with butter is an acceptable (and preferred) breakfast option.
10. You have unintentionally uttered one or more of the following phrases: Doe normaal! Het was gezellig! Helaas Pindakaas! Wat jammer! Wat een kutweer!
11. At a friend’s birthday, you congratulate their partner, son, daughter, mother and father, plus brothers and sisters. Oh, and the neighbour.
12. You eat (and enjoy) frikandellen, a sort of fried, minced-meat hot dog.
Frikandellen creation by a Dutch cook
13. At midday on the first Monday of the month, you no longer jump out of your skin when the emergency alarms are tested.
14. You manage to say hoor 10 times a day without so much as a stifled giggle. Ja, hoor!
15. You’ve stepped in dog poo and then walked into your house with your shoes still on.
16. You've adopted oranjegekte – not only do you love the colour orange, you possess a box dedicated to orange clothing and accessories, used once a year in April and during major sporting events.
17. You think it’s perfectly normal to transport another human being on a bike with you – or three children.
18. Your calves resemble Popeye’s biceps.
19. You love camping and when asked about your holiday plans, “I’m going to a camping,” (note the countable noun) is the most commonly adopted answer.
20. You fly a Dutch flag when camping so that people don’t mistake you for Germans.
21. You own one of these:
22. On special occasions and at Christmas time, you dust off your gourmetten set and let everyone cook their own food on the dinner table.
23. You are able to ride your bike while doing one or more of the following: texting, rolling a cigarette, holding an umbrella, or carrying 23 bags of shopping, a case of beer or an item larger than yourself.
24. As a pro-cycler, you are also perfectly capable of cycling while inebriated.
25. You roll your eyes when someone refers to your country as Holland, then take a deep breath and prepare yourself to deliver your rehearsed speech about the difference between Holland and the Netherlands.
26. You can confidently pronounce the guttural Dutch 'g' in Gefeliciteerd without it hurting your throat or spraying people with saliva.
27. You get annoyed when people think the Netherlands is all about Amsterdam.
28. You get annoyed when people think Amsterdam is all about weed and prostitutes.
29. Stamppot – for dinner, you are particularly fond of lumpy mashed potato, mashed vegetables and a U-shaped boiled sausage.
30. In December, you enjoy having nuts (pepernoten) thrown at you.
How Dutch are you? Anything else to add to the list?
Hayley (aka Bitterballenbruid) is 32 and lives in Hilversum, the Netherlands, with her Dutch husband and their cat called Paris (no, she didn’t name her – long story). Her blog Bitterballenbruid is about living in het Gooi, eating too many bitterballen, getting married in Holland, learning how to be Dutch, and dealing with the language. Follow her on Facebook, Twitter or check out her Instagram.
Photo credits: © Bitterballenbruid / via Wikimedia Commons (frikandellen).
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