Dear editor,

Re: Instant bilingualism
 
You wrote a very apt and important piece on bilingualism, describing what most foreigners experience when they raise a family here. I grew up in Singapore (the only Asian country where the lingua franca is English) but lived in New Zealand for 10 years and subsequently in Australia for another 10 years.

Although I also speak my dialect Chinese and Bahasa Malay, my primary language is English. My wife, however, comes from China and her primary language is Mandarin. She also speaks other dialects like Shanghainese, Cantonese and Tianjinese but both of us have to communicate in English because she does not understand my dialect and vice versa.
 
Both our children are born in the Netherlands — my wife and I spoke to them only in English until they were 3 years old when my wife first started speaking Mandarin with them to facilitate communication with relatives in China. They learned Dutch from playing with neighbours, creche, pre-school and constant exposure to TV and in public areas. We were concerned that their level of Dutch proficiency would not be good enough since I speak only English and my wife speaks only mandarin with them in the home. However, their Dutch teacher has confirmed their spoken Dutch is on a par with native speakers.

Both of them are now attending an international school and attend Chinese lessons on Saturday mornings. Both of them are able to slip in and out from one language to the other depending on the person they speak to, using English when speaking to me and on cue, changing to fluent Mandarin when speaking to their mother. My older is now 10 and the younger is 8.
 
As you indicated already, the best and easiest time for anyone to learn multiple languages is when they are children. I totally encourage trilingualism!
 
Regards,
Name and address withheld

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Dear editor,

Re: Instant bilingualism
 
What you are witnessing and participating in is great fun. My own experience, after being born in England before WWII:

• then from the age of four spending about three years in a British hospital separated from my Dutch parents,
• then two years at home in England with lessons from a private teacher,
• then a year and a half in Holland at the age of eight before returning to England for a final spell of a year or so and then going back to live in Holland,

is that bilingual capability outside an active bilingual environment only endures from about the age of nine. This was more or less corroborated by the experience with my son and daughter, who went with my wife and me to the US at the ages of four and two respectively. Both became fluent in English (taking account of their ages, of course).

My daughter lost her Dutch and only regained it when we went back to Holland two years later, when within weeks she gave up on her English in spite of my attempts to keep her going by reading to her. These same attempts with my son were successful (we read together for years) and he retained a far better command of English than the average for pretty good students. Both of them are quite intelligent.
 
Regards,
Pieter Stek

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Dear editor,

Re: Instant bilingualism
 
I read your article on bilingualism with great interest. After reading it, I immediately sent it to my ex-girlfriend and mother of my daughter (who is two and a half years old). Like you, I too speak English to my daughter (sadly, like many expats my Dutch linguistic skills are limited to say the least) while her mother speaks Dutch and my daughter (naturally) speaks mainly in Dutch

My added problem is that because we are separated, I only see my daughter at the weekend. But to make matters worse I have been told by her mother that her level of Dutch is being affected by me communicating to her in English! She has been told that by her Crèche teachers who have said she speaks in broken sentences when she arrives back after a weekend with me.

So now I'm worried. Am I doing harm to my daughter by talking (and teaching her English)? I think not! But her mother and her crèche teachers do. I come from London, a city where many children don't speak English until they start primary school at five! So I know it is possible for a child to speak and understand many languages at a young age. 

Regards
Nnamdi Nwosu

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Dear editor,

Re: Instant bilingualism

I am so glad that this has gone well, for both you, your wife and your son (speaking as an Anglo-Dutch child).

However a word of caution: if you should have more than one child, remember that every child is different and some children have more difficulty with language than others.

It's good to be aware of this and to adjust your expectations of your children according to their particular abilities. (For instance, I am bilingual, my brother is not).

Sincerely,
Hanneke

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Dear editor

Re: Instant bilingualism

My wife forwarded your article with the comment: "Been there done that …" I enjoyed the article, but have a slightly different take on why your son decided to start speaking English.

I am born/educated in Denmark, but lived in the US for several years. I only spoke Danish to my two daughters, three years apart, but for both of them it was the same. Danish in, English out, until they turned about 4 years old.

So what makes them switch to answer in the second language? My theory
is:

1. Kids first have to be secure in the base spoken language (main language heard/spoken) then they can switch
2. At age 3-4, they become aware that you need more than one language to communicate (visiting other places or interaction with family members who don't understand them.)

To everyone out there going through this … keep it up, it is all worth the effort. My daughters seven and 10 now, email and visit their cousins/family regularly with all communication in Danish! And they developed a "no fear" attitude to other languages and cultures.

Best regards
The Vagabonds,

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Dear editor,

Re: A say in government!

Yes, I totally agree with the editor's comments regarding the right to vote for EU citizens. 

I have lived in the Netherlands for 34 years and have been married to my Dutch husband for 28 years and experience the same feelings of "home" with regard to the Netherlands and being able to speak Dutch also gives me a feeling of belonging. 

I would dearly love to vote and this year have requested Dutch citizenship, however I submitted my request in April, but so far have not made any further progress — unfortunately it will not be in time to vote in the upcoming election.

Kind Regards
Margaret de Koning

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Dear editor,

Re: A say in government!

As a Brit who has lived outside the UK for more than 30 years, I cannot vote in any national election. Only in local (town) elections here in France where I am currently living, and for a selected list of French candidates for the European Parliament. The British government refuses to allow me to vote in any election in the UK, or for UK Members of Parliament.

As most European decisions made in Brussels come from representatives appointed by national governments, none of which I am allowed you have a say in, I am effectively prevented from taking part in this European "democracy".

Anybody remember the Boston Tea Party and why it happened?

Trevor D. Evans
France

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Dear editor,

Re: A say in government!

I am also an expat, who has decided to stay in the Netherlands, until further notice, who has learned the language, but has not yet (and cannot) apply for Dutch citizenship. I am not even sure I would. I live with an Italian partner, who has been here for more than 20 years, and though is very Dutch in many ways, wants to keep the Italian connection.

Being a Dane in Holland you do not feel so much a stranger, as I am sure people from other parts of the globe might feel. Danes and Dutch people are very much alike. The culture and the languages are very close, just as close as the 1 hour flight it takes me to go back to Copenhagen. But the longer I live here, I also feel the frustration about being part of a society where I have some rights and some obligations, but not all. I can only vote in local elections here in the Netherlands, so the upcoming national election, how interesting it may be, is not for me. Alas.

Due to the Danish Constitution and laws on elections, I cannot vote in Denmark either. The Danish law does not allow expats, who have lived outside Denmark for more than two years to take part in Danish elections, not even by proxy. This is in great contrast to the laws of other EU countries: in Sweden you only lose voting rights after 10 years and in Italy you can keep voting all you life, if you remain an Italian citizen.

Kind regards,
Venlig hilsen

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Dear editor,

Re: Verdonk urges abolition of equal treatment board

What foolishness — forcing people to shake hands. Next edict: you must smile and always answer the question "Hoe gaat het?" with "Goed! Goed!"

Wearing a veil covering a face in public is an affront to our open society. Greeting someone in another way without shaking hands on religious grounds is unfortunate, but not an affront.

Where has the famous Dutch tolerance gone? Multiculturalism requires give and take.

Regards,
Ken

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Dear editor

Re: Getting along with the Dutch

I was fortunate to have been able to stay for two months in the Netherlands and fell in love with the place that I have decided to return home (Australia) and get my personal finances in order before returning in six months for an extended stay.

I enjoyed your article on understanding the Dutch and although I hold a Dutch passport I was raised in Australia with all the Aussie ideas.

I did find it strange that 'appointments' needed to be made to go and see relatives. Brothers and sisters don't even go and see each other without one. None of this 'Just passing, saw the light on so I thought I'd call in' mentality.

One cousin asked how I had gained permission to go and see his brother who the rest of the family felt a little reclusive. I just asked. No one said no.

I planned several visits to relatives. Always for two days as I thought that was time enough if the reception was as bad as Aussies had told me that receptions from Dutch counterparts would be. I never stayed just the two days and was always invited to stay longer.

I found the different way of life an eye opener. Something to observe and take on board.  My last two days (became two weeks) in Den Bosch made me realiase that I wanted to come to the Netherlands and experience life living there, not just as a visitor.

Regards,
Marjo Stokman

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Dear editor,

Re: Getting along with the Dutch

What rubbish Ms Tatjana van de Kamp (an expat herself indeed) speaks.

Can she explain the reason no one moves aside in the street and says excuse me when they barge into you, or incompetence of store staff when you order something and they get it wrong time after time, or a mandatory 10 week waiting period for anything you want to buy because in Holland they don't see the need to carry stock, or the reason the incompetent town hall can not adjust the priority at traffic lights when one of the roads is blocked off for road works, or the fact that when a motorway speed sign says 80kmh everyone slows immediately to 80 even when there is no need, or why all doctors refuse to utilise the modern drugs available to alleviate discomfort saying we want the body to mend itself, or … or … or … the list goes on.

Regards,
Carl Lomax

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Dear editor,

Re: Citation for Srebrenica troops sparks outrage

Giving recognition to the troops who served at Srebrenica should be viewed the way receiving a 'white feather' in the British military is perceived.

Regards,
Mike Breen

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Dear editor,

Re: Should our kids go native too? 

I was immediately interested in your article as we placed our five-year-old daughter in a 'native' school.

We had a place in an international school and decided to truly experience another culture.  We have been here eight months, I see benefits — she is speaking another language very well — but we still have anxious times.

On the one hand, I can see this as culture shock: the standards in our home country are high and very current, and are not like this in the native schools.

As a parent these days, it is hard to find the right balance, we have more choices than parents in the past.  Knowing you have some of the best choices, it is an anxious trade off to choose for more life experiences and culture.

Regards,
Angela

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Dear editor,

Re: Culture shock

On your article regarding culture shock, I just wanted to share two video interviews I did of students while studying in Amsterdam. I will never forget my experience while I was there.

In fact my husband and I will return when I finish my degree. He will be retiring back in his homeland. We are looking forward to it! Thank you.

Video 1
Video 2

Regards,
Benilda Beretta

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1 December 2006 

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[Copyright Expatica 2006]

Subject: Life in the Netherlands, expat opinion