ratkat, 40 years old
Offline
About me Originally from San Francisco Bay Area but have lived in NL almost a decade working in media/music/sound/voiceover/TV/radio production
Country of origin United States
Country of current residence Netherlands
Interests : Animals, pets, Art, Books, magazines, Coffee, tea and conversation, Computers, Internet, Cooking, Dining out, Drama plays, musicals, Languages, Movies, Music, News, Nightclubs, dancing, Photography
Visited countries : Argentina, Austria, Belgium, Belize, Brazil, Chile, Czech Republic, Denmark, Egypt, France, Germany, Greece, Guatemala, Italy, Luxembourg, Malta, Mexico, Monaco, Netherlands, Peru, Poland, Slovakia, Spain, Sweden, Switzerland, United Kingdom, United States, Vatican City
I am not a tourist. I would describe myself as :a human being
recent forum
- REALLY PISSED OFF THIS MORNINGJezus, I'm sorry you had to go through that - though I cannot for one second say it surprises me at all (I've also lived here 10 years). A huisarts once screamed at my wife "I AM THE DOCTOR, NOT YOU!!!!" when she simply tried to explain an ongoing problem she had and how it was treated during previous outbreaks *sigh* The minute one gets agressive or confrontational here, the Dutch shut down and close off. I've found the only way to get through is to play the victim. Very often I will preface a request with something along the lines of "Ik weet niks, je bent zeker de expert, maar....." - it's using child psychology to communicate with these people. They need to feel like they're important and in charge, and you are the submissive. Although it's embarassing and stupid to play this game, I find it helps me get what I want more than when I would scream and rant like a lunatic at them (which has happened oh so many times in 10 years). Having said that, I find your doctor's attitude totally unacceptable and would really try to find another one - I know my current huisarts would not put up with that. I have noticed that the receptionists at huisarts are usually not very nice - if I happen to call at 11:30 to make an appointment, they growl that it's the wrong time to make appointments (only between 9:30-10:30 and, naturally, the lines are all busy then!). Once I said "I'm sorry, I'll try to get sick when it's more convienient for you" which earned me a prompt hangup No one abroad believes me when I tell them these stories. They seem to think NL is a civilized country - I honestly don't believe that anymore., 09/07/2008 12:44
- Driving standards - what were you taught?The Dutch are full of bad driving techniques during training - the one that shocked me was when I was reprimanded for shifting down when exiting the motorway - he told me to just go to neutral and just use the brake! This explains why once a group I was with was almost killed in Germany when our Dutch driver was going down a steep hill, never shifted into a low gear and was confused as to why he had no control over the van with just his brake OK, there are no hills in NL, but you would think...oh never mind....The big problem is you have to learn it "the Dutch way" to pass their exam, then adjust to the real world after you get the license. I agree with Johno - once you cross the border back into NL you can really see/feel the difference in driving style (my pet peeve is the tailigating which is ridiuclously common here). I'm embarassed to have Dutch plates when abroad, to be honest because I already know the reputation Dutch drivers have from my foreign friends. As I've said before, the Dutch drive like they do everything else- with little regard/respect/acknowledgement for anyone around them, whether they have a car, a bike, a shopping cart or are simply walking.....what a sad bunch of people....., 08/07/2008 07:58
- "legal" advice after my dog was attacked by another...I'm sorry to read what happened to your dog. My dog was attacked TWICE by a neighbours dog (not as severly as yours, but enough to traumatize her for the rest of her life) and sadly, there was little legal recourse. The police wouldn't even come when it happened. I was told I couldn't make an official complaint because the woman had not ordered her dog to attack mine. I went to the wijkagent to attempt to get compensation for the vet bills. Nothing ever happened and I got the feeling they were trying to ignore me until the situation calmed down - they may have sent someone over to test the dog's agression with relation to humans, but I never heard anything concrete. I had one explosion on the street with the owner, who proclaimed that she wouldn't pay anything because I took my dog to the emergency in the dierenambulence when it was "unnecessary" (never mind I did so because I am a member and get rides for €10 rather than taking a taxi which would have been more!). This was typical Dutch "it's not my fault and I won't accept any responsibility" mentality *sigh* I possibly could have gone to court and won a judgement for the vet bills, but to be honest, the whole affair upset me so much that I didn't want to start that procedure, which would take ages. In the end, the dog had to be removed from their building as apparently, it was getting such a reputation for attacking dogs, the owners didn't let it out, so it pooped all over the balcony, which caused the neighbours to complain. So ironically, the pooping got the dog out of my neighbourhood, not the fact it was attacking other dogs! My dog hasn't been the same since - she barks a lot now in the flat if she senses other dogs outside. I am more careful with letting her near other dogs as well. I don't know how much of my story is relevant to your situation, but thought I'd share. I am not a lawyer, but from what I've experienced, there's not much you can do that would be worth the effort.If the vet bills were excessive, you may want to consult a lawyer to see if the owner is responsible for them. You can also talk to the wijkagent and police so they know this has happened. I suspect that since it was on her property and she warned you, it's a grey area. Good luck and if you do try something, let us know what happens!, 07/07/2008 11:01
- Dutch Smoking BanLast week, a crew needed to install rocks in the garden at work, and used a huge machine that shot them out like a gun - this created a HUGE thick cloud of dust. They didn't wear any googles or protective gear at all, just stood there inhaling all this crap. When you get your blood drawn, most places do not use gloves. I find the smoking ban for the sake of the employees strange given what I see as a general disregard for safety here. In the end, it's probably just another way for the city to collect fines from people who like to disregard the regels...., 07/07/2008 10:18
- Leaving Dutch friends behindThat's a very interesting situation which I somewhat relate to. My experiences with Dutch friendships is that they are awkward and unnatural- as one expat told me, he feels like there are invisible hands on their shoulders holding them back from being their true selves! I can rarely relax and unwind with them the way I can with German, Danish, French, Italian, hell..almost any other nationality of friend I have (OK, maybe an exception with the Swiss ;-) )- they do lighten up a bit when drunk, but I like friendships that don't require alcohol-assistence ;-). Even with Dutch friends I like, there's just something not quite right - I've always put it down to Calvinism.Basically, you should just stop making appointments with them (if you do) - if you're in social situations with them, excuse yourself and talk to other people. Just phase them out of your life. I think if you just slowly remove yourself from the situations, it's better than sitting them down and explaining "Sorry, I find your culture, rituals and behaviour too difficult to relate to so I am officially ending our friendship." If some of them are clingy types who keep pestering you, you may have to sit them down and explain, in which case you'll probably look a bit of an asshole.On the other hand, maybe you are assuming these are friends and they are actually acquaintances. There are levels of friendship, and these people may not even consider you to be a real friend - you may just be hitting that brick wall that many of us have, where Dutch people don't allow too many real friends into their lives. In that case, you're experiencing what many here complain about - that they can't establish meaningful friendships with the locals. You just have to accept that - there's nothing wrong with having acquaintances and small talking - you'll just need to look for more meaningful friendships in other people most likely. , 06/07/2008 11:14
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Mariah McKenna seeks out the ten best spots for a picnic in, and around, Amsterdam.
disscussion forum
- Healthcare REALLY PISSED OFF THIS MORNING, by Illuminatus 09/07/2008 14:37
- Travel & Transport Motor Scooters, by DirkIII 09/07/2008 14:32
- Family Glass baby bottles?, by jenner 09/07/2008 14:20
- Family Tweetalig opvoeding, by jenner 09/07/2008 14:16
- South Africa Forum South Africans in or around Hoofddorp??, by anton kading 09/07/2008 13:59
- Girls Only wooden beads, by aapje 09/07/2008 13:52
- Discuss Dutch Culture How often have you been stopped at the border?, by jenner 09/07/2008 13:34
- Housing Amsterdam City Centre Appartment for rent, by HAL2000 09/07/2008 13:08
- Girls Only Hairdresser in the Hague, by romey 09/07/2008 12:56
- Dutch News White Dutch people being Hunted down in Curaço (Dutch Antilles), by laureljoanna 09/07/2008 12:24
