While every relocating family deserves a great deal of attention, families with special needs children require more effort than most to find the proper schooling and support programmes. We find out how HR can help.

Each child with special needs has a unique set of educational requirements.

Every relocating family deals with concerns over changing their child’s current academic situation and each desires the right fit and a good environment when they seek out new schools.

When children have special academic, physical, social and/or emotional needs, these concerns are multiplied and “getting it right” adds substantial stress to an already trying situation. Their families will have a unique set of educational requirements and differing concerns as to how the special needs of their child will be met when they make an international transfer.

Placement for children with special needs is quite involved and requires substantially more time than a standard school search. Each special needs case is unique, as two children with the same overall diagnosis, for instance children with dyslexia, autism, or non-verbal processing disorder, will experience different levels of impairment and may respond to some types of treatment and not to others.

Also, while a child is diagnosed as having a 'disability', the reality is usually more complex; there is commonly an array of issues that are affecting the child’s ability to learn and fit in. Therefore, a consultant’s initial conversation with parents is critical as it is used to gather detailed information about the child’s history, the disability, its effect in and out of the classroom, and how it currently is being treated.

Special needs children routinely undergo testing, and their report cards are usually accompanied by a multitude of evaluations from the educators, therapists, and doctors working on their behalf. Gathering all the appropriate and most up-to-date information about a special needs child requires time, and the family can incur substantial out-of-pocket expenses.

The initial interview also must establish a connection with the parents and provide them with the feeling that their child and their child’s needs are understood. Finding schools for regular education children allows parents to talk about their child’s many abilities. With special needs children, much of the information conveyed is about what is not going right for their child. It is easy to lose sight of the child’s personality, his or her strengths, and what makes him or her wonderful and special.

The opportunity to begin educating parents also occurs during the initial conversation. This is an occasion to discuss differences in diagnoses, terminology, and approaches to treatment between countries, even between such similar seeming countries as the US and the UK.

In the US public school system, all schools are mandated to adhere to the No Child Left Behind Act, which requires schools to provide services to meet the needs of all children in their district. However, there are differences in how services are provided and, as in any situation, districts and schools vary in what they are good at, meaning that one district or school may do very well with an autistic child but not as well with the child who has another type of functioning problem.

In comparison with private schools, US public schools often provide the widest range of options for children with special needs. However, another issue that often is confusing and stressful for those coming to the US public school system is that because of privacy issues and budget concerns, districts often have stringent rules preventing parents from coming in to see their facilities or meeting with special needs educators.

Conversely, Americans headed abroad often assume that private American schools will offer the same range of special education assistance that they are accustomed to in public schools. That typically is not the case, and when moving to another English-speaking country, often a local school may turn out to be the best option.

All of the above can greatly intensify the anxiety of already worried parents. Therefore, it is important that the individual helping the family with this process be knowledgeable about the additional requirements of placing a special needs child, and that substantial research be done and findings communicated to the family well before they make their home/school visit.

All parents want certainty and detailed descriptions of what their child will be receiving. In a perfect world, they would like a guarantee. Barring that, the family needs specific information and details regarding programme offerings and availability. This information must be provided before their visit because they will then be better prepared to evaluate and select from available options.

How parents present

The way in which parents approach the school search for their special needs child and, hence, how they interact with the human resource consultant and other relocation personnel varies and seems to depend to some degree on the parents’ capacity to function under stress and various aspects of their child’s situation, including the length of time the family has been dealing with their child’s limitations, the level of acceptance of the diagnosis, and the severity of disabilities.

It is not unusual for a family to discover their child has a learning disability while preparing for a move. In this case, the parent may be struggling to understand the exact nature of their child’s difficulty and may be feeling overwhelmed by trying to determine the right placement for a child whose needs they do not clearly grasp.
Parents also may not be ready to absorb the effect of their child’s disability and how the child’s requirements may need to direct the school selection. Parents in the latter situation often present the greatest challenge for those working with them. While they are often forthcoming about their child’s needs and readily send reports and school records, they often seem to reject or ignore the options provided based on the needs. Conflict can arise when desired options do not match expressed needs.
Parents whose children have more severe issues—Asperger’s Disorder, autism, Down’s Syndrome, and Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD)—are often the easiest to work with because they know the realities and limitations of what is available to their children and are accustomed to identifying unique ways of meeting their children’s needs. These parents also tend to be aware that there can be more than one right or perfect option for any child.

In some situations, it seems that information just does not get through to the parents no matter how it is presented. Stress often prevents people from functioning at their best, and those working with parents may be the recipients of short tempers; false accusations; seemingly contradictory responses and reactions; intense neediness for support, guidance, and assistance; and endless repetition of information already discussed.

How HR can help

For the family about to embark on an international assignment, HR is usually the initial point of contact and reference. Although the HR consultant might feel uncomfortable asking, early knowledge of a possible special needs child can help determine a course of action that ultimately will facilitate the relocation process.
Ideally, any family with a special needs child would receive school search support from a firm that has educational specialists who can deal with the issues outlined above. When that is not an option, knowing that these families will need more time, patience, and understanding can help guide planning for the additional effort and resources they will require.

 Often parents need someone to talk with or vent at. Listening can go a long way in allaying anxiety. The HR consultant can be a sounding board for parents, using their expertise to help parents sift through options, consider ideas, and narrow or broaden available choices.

Parents often express their concerns indirectly, perhaps through complaining about some aspect of the service being provided. For those working directly with the family, the greater the understanding of what they are experiencing practically, physically, and emotionally, the more likely they will be able to pinpoint the parents’ source of irritation or frustration. This could be difficulty in reaching a potential school contact or having to wait for a school space that has not yet opened.

Sometimes offering information in a variety of ways can be quite helpful to a parent who feels swamped in new information. Talking on the phone, following up with an e-mail, and providing information in a chart or spreadsheet format can help families to better digest the information being communicated.

Parents can get stuck at different times in the face of so many decisions and may lose sight of the tremendous opportunities afforded by an overseas move. With good questions and well-managed expectations, a family can be guided to use this transition period as a time for reflecting on whom their child is at this stage in his or her life and where they are as a family.

Every family member grows during these changes and transitions, including the special needs child, and parents will benefit from encouragement in this area. A new environment can nudge a child toward greater independence, increased self-awareness, and a willingness to try new things.

Social opportunities may emerge; a new approach to an old difficulty may be the start of a great leap in development or a particular skill. The more a family can embrace this as they consider options for their special needs child, the easier their transition will be and, in all likelihood, the more successful their move will be.

While there can be many benefits and much positive growth resulting from a relocation, it is important to know that for families with special needs children, not all moves are possible.

Working with a family who has a child with special needs requires a different approach to that of families without such needs. Awareness and acknowledgement of this by the HR consultant helps parents feel understood.

Empathy for what they are experiencing helps them cope. Assurance that everything will work out reduces their own uncertainty about a situation that in many ways feels out of control. When a family feels supported by HR, they feel supported by the company. When relocation goes smoothly, both the company and the family benefit.

Jill Kristal, Ph.D., is the special education consultant for School Choice International, White Plains, NY. She can be reached at +914-328-3000 or e-mail jill@schoolchoiceintl.com.

Reprinted with the permission of Worldwide ERC® from the July 2006 issue of MOBILITY.

Subject: Expatriating families with special needs