We examine the notion of third culture kid (TCK) and how understanding this 'experience' can help you keep early repatriations to a minimum, as well as helping you to identify hidden assets among personnel.

'TCK' is an experience, not an identity.

Do you know anything about third culture kids (TCKs)? Or third culture adults (TCAs) or ATCKs (Adult TCKs). Puzzled about these terms and what the 'third culture' is anyway? Knowing the TCK profile could help you identify potentially hidden assets among personnel as well as alerting you to the importance of helping families to know how to help their children through cross-cultural assignments.

In presenting her book 'Third Culture Kids: The Experience of Growing Up Among Worlds' at a recent WIN meeting in Amsterdam, Ruth van Reken introduced the notion of TCKs to a receptive audience.

In fact, many of those present said they fitted into at least one or more of the following groups: 'traditional' TCK, children of bi/multicultural parents, children of immigrants, children of refugees, children of minorities, children of international adoptees or 'domestic' TCKs - children who have moved around within the same country, rather than internationally.

Within multinational companies today, a steadily increasing number of employees and their children will belong to one or more of these groups, which Van Reken terms collectively as cross-cultural kids (CCKs).

The third culture

The third culture, explains Van Reken, is the interstitial culture, the shared commonalities of those living international lifestyles and this 'third culture' is interwoven with the home culture or 'first culture', which is interwoven with the experience in the host or 'second' culture.

In other words, says Van Reken, a TCK is a person who has spent a significant part of their developmental years outside the parents' culture or cultures.  The sense of belonging is in relationships to others of similar background. However, please remember, says Van Reken, that 'TCK' is an experience, not an identity.

The good and the bad

The upside of being a TCK or CCK might seem obvious to some. They get to see a lot of the world, they can understand that not everyone does something the same way, they can be bridge-builders among cultures and people and they—and their children—can often learn more than one language. TCKs make great cross-culturalists and excel in positions requiring international negotiation skills.

However there are hazards attached to this type of upbringing.  "You, or a person you love, is always coming or going, you go through many repeated cycles of separation and loss rather than more traditional episodic cycles—life becomes a series of 'hallo's' and 'goodbyes' and you or your children often feel 'off-balance' culturally," says Van Reken.

Identity is a challenge

The questions often asked by TCKs are, "How and where do I truly fit in?", "Am I 'normal'?". Identity is a challenge for TCKs. The question "Where are you from?" is loaded for many 'travellers'. Often they find themselves selecting one appropriate response from the many possible responses they have learned to apply to this same question, asked in different situations, and by people of different cultural backgrounds.

And even if the answer is simple for them, the question will usually tap a nerve.

Unresolved grief, due to the experiences of loss and gain experienced in the 'mobility cycle' cause symptoms such as anger, depression, withdrawal and rebellion.

The losses, which bring up these symptoms, are often hidden says Van Reken, such as the loss of a 'world', status, relationships, or even a dream; when you actually get back to the place you dream about your dream can crack.

To heal in the first place, people need to deal with these losses and allow themselves to experience and acknowledge the grief.

Giving the time for the process is essential says Van Reken. "Remember, feeling grief doesn't mean the experience or event is 'wrong'." After all, she says, "you don't grieve for what you don't love."

When the going gets tough, leave

Another challenge of a 'mobile' upbringing is the sense of 'rootlessness' it gives.  ATCKs often find they are unable to settle down and may even physically leave situations and people as an option rather than dealing with them, says Van Reken.

Companies are aware that preparing, sending, and keeping a family in another country often costs two to three times an employee's annual salary. However, a child's distress can bring an entire family home prematurely.

So how can companies help prepare their mobile workers to deal with the challenges of a global lifestyle?

How HR can help

Van Reken advises HR to prepare staff that work with 'global nomads' and their families. Give them in-service training and organise interactions where they hear the stories of the children and the families they serve. Make resources available for families such as seminars/ books for parents and offer pre- and post-assignment sessions with children.

Helping with repatriation is essential says Van Reken, you need to understand a TCKs sense of home, cultural roots and possible need for a mentor, the difference between stupidity and ignorance to mention a few.

For example, when a child or adult repatriate they may have forgotten the 'rules' of the culture they left. "Basically you learn the rules as a kid," says Van Reken, "but for TCKs this is not the case." Children start feeling stupid because they don't understand why they feel "dumb" again in apparently normal situations, explains Van Reken.

Van Reken's advice for ATCKs is to learn to live with the paradox of your rich and multicultural experience. Remember, you don't have to reject either the past of the present to preserve the other.

As one global nomad said, "My life is like Windows. Each part is open and accessible, but I have to operate in the one that's on the screen."

February 2006

Ruth E. van van Reken is the co-author, with David C. Pollock, of Third Culture Kids: The Experience of Growing Up Among Worlds.

Other useful resources:
www.tckworld.com, www.branchor.com, www.interactionintl.org, www.crossculturalkid.com

Natasha Gunn is the editor of Expatica HR.

Subject: Moving with children, Relocating families