No matter how long a couple have been together, expatriation can put immense strain on the relationship. Companies are slowly waking up to the importance of taking the expat's personal life into consideration when planning the move.

Expatriation magnifies relationship problems

Mary and Ian Tod have enjoyed what Mary calls "a very strong relationship and marriage" for more than 30 years. They lived in Toronto, and Mr Tod worked as a lawyer before taking a senior-management role at a major auditing-and-tax firm, while Mrs Tod climbed the ladder and made partner at a prominent international consulting firm. The couple, now in their 50s, raised two children and had many friends and an active social life.

But when Mr Tod's firm asked him to take a senior position in Hong Kong last year, things changed. The move uprooted the two from their daily routines and, in his new role, Mr Tod began travelling extensively. Without a job, friends and family, Mrs Tod's life was dramatically different, and their relationship suffered, she says. When her husband announced over Christmas that he'd be travelling for a month starting in June, they exchanged rare sharp words.

Rather than let the situation escalate, Mr Tod encouraged his wife to find a job, and she worked hard to be patient with her husband's heavy workload.

"I think there will be a few bumps along the way," she admits, adding that they are "being a little bit extra thoughtful" with each other. Now, Mrs Tod is job hunting and upbeat about her prospects.

Moving abroad for an expatriate assignment usually entails more than just transferring to a new workplace; it often includes taking a partner, spouse or children along, too.

The Tods had weighed how their move might affect their close-knit family prior, but a significant portion of transferring executives don't discuss the issues involved in moving a family overseas, says Robin Pascoe, author of "A Moveable Marriage: Relocate Your Relationship without Breaking It" (Expatriate Press Limited, 2003).

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