It seems like a great solution — let the family stay where they are and have the employee travel to another location. But as Janet Inglis reports, the spouse's situation is usually an afterthought.

As commuter assignments become more common — partly as a cost-cutting exercise, it must be said —what are the effects on these travelling employees and their partners and families? What can everyone involved, including HR, do to make the situation easier to cope with?

According to Rosalind Paterson, managing director of Amsterdam-based Tristar Relocations, one of the most difficult things the stay-at-home spouse has to contend with is disruption to the household routine when the travelling partner comes home. Also, the spouse has to deal with a partner who is constantly tired from his/her travels.

The at-home spouse, she says, needs to create a life for him/herself and should not be in a constant state of limbo waiting for the other partner to come home and to resume life.

Jo Parfitt, the author of A Career in Your Suitcase and an expert on overseas assignments, knows that it's not always easier for the family to stay in one place while the spouse commutes.

"The situation has many problems, not least that the stay-at-home partner is forced to create a life while the moving one cannot, so the wife creates roots and the husband does not," she says. "So he'll see no reason not to move on as a family to 'start again and be together' and she will see plenty of reasons not to go."

One spouse's experience

Christine Finlow-Bates is a partner in Endeavour Management Services bv, as is her husband. He is frequently away, sometimes for a couple of weeks at a time, travelling all over the world while she manages the administrative side of the business. She has learned the art of making a life for herself.

"I’ve got so used to being on my own that I quite enjoy it now. It gives me the flexibility to go swimming and off on my bike whenever I feel like it, if I have the time. It’s easier now that the children are grown up, of course," says Finlow-Bates.

"Weekends are the most difficult because that’s when you expect to have your spouse and that’s when you really notice you’re alone, she continues. It would be nice if he was home three days a week and worked two days – that would be ideal. That’s the dream arrangement for the future!"

But adjusting her lifestyle when her husband comes home can be difficult.

"For instance, when I’m on my own I might eat dinner – just something grabbed from the freezer – very late, on a tray in front of the television," she says.

What businesses are doing

In 1995 Shell set up the Outpost Centre to support families on the move. This is an independent organisation within Shell that helps Shell employees and their families worldwide with everything from dual-career issues to finding local clubs and groups.

Outpost Director Josephine Evans – whose husband is away on business travel 60 percent of the time for Shell —is well aware of the problems spouses like her face. But says that they receive good support from the HR department.

"I know that Outpost is much admired by other companies and in the future there could certainly be a potential for our model to spread and provide support for more people outside Shell," says Evans.

The European Patent Office, which grants patent protection in some or all of its 20 contracting states, will have to deal with commuter issues. The EPO has just begun a trial re-organisation of its directorates, whereby principal directors are now responsible for intellectual property areas, such as chemistry, at both of its offices in The Hague and Munich.

Therefore, principal directors will have to travel between these cities every week.

What will the EPO do to try to help its principal directors and their families? The guiding principle should, of course, be the need to reduce unnecessary stress on employees, and hopefully helpful new administrative procedures will be put in place as the needs arise.

What HR can do

In practical terms, HR staff can be generous. And understanding.

Here are some specific ways to improve the employee and the spouse's quality of life:

• Allow the travelling partner an allowance for regular journeys back home, which is flexible enough to be used instead for the family to fly out on a visit if they wish.
• Pay for a quality hotel or apartment, so that the travelling employee is at least comfortable.
• Provide a mobile phone with a generous allowance for calls to home while travelling. This way, news about delays, arrival times, etc, can be communicated quickly.
• Possibly provide video link-ups for the family, or at least organise an e-mail connection.
• Make sure the employee has business-class air tickets, whose many advantages — ie, speedy check-in, access to business lounges and personal attention — can make the difference between a tolerable situation and one that is miserable and stressful.
• Tell their commuting employees and their spouses about online resources. For instance, Families in Global Transition (www.figt.org) is a non-profit, globally recognised organisation that offers programmes and conferences on expatriate family issues. Robin Pascoe’s on-line community at www.expatexpert.com is well worth a visit, as is Beverley Roman’s site at www.branchor.com

As Paterson sums up, "It is a difficult problem and there is not a definitive solution. Flexibility on both sides is the only answer."

January 2003

Janet Inglis is the author of Handling Holland: A Manual for International Women in The Netherlands. She offers careers advice for expatriates at www.careersadvice.org.