With all the packing and planning that goes into moving abroad, many couples forget to prepare for one of the most important changes of all: the change to their relationship. Studies show that moving abroad places stress on a marriage; stress that can either make or break the relationship.

The challenges
The 2008 Global Assignment Policies and Practices (GAPP) survey showed that the main challenges to expat couples, especially where one partner follows their spouse abroad, are:

• Feelings of isolation from being far removed from friends and family
• A sense of unfamiliarity induced by living in a foreign country, particularly if the culture and language are very different to home;
• Changes in lifestyle, such as larger/smaller accommodation, domestic help and elevated social duties;
• Financial dependency on one’s spouse;
• Difficulty in finding suitable and/or rewarding employment.

Taking charge
Meeting these challenges may not be easy but it is possible. By far the most important strategy is also the most simple: communication. Talking to one another openly and frequently is crucial if couples are to fully understand how the relocation is affecting each other at all times. Expat life coaches suggest scheduling a weekly meeting where one sets an agenda to discuss the ‘business matters’ of the move. The key is to be open and honest, and to adopt a problem solving mindset.

It is also vital to have realistic expectations and objectives concerning the move. Gather as much information together before you go so the shock of the transition is less severe. Read detailed expat guides, visit forums and read relevant blogs to give you a sense of how other people have met and overcome the challenges of an expat life.

Another important tip is to keep in touch with people from home; the familiarity will ease the sense of isolation. Tools such as Skype, blogs and Facebook now make this much easier to achieve, of course. If you are being sent overseas by a corporation, another tip is to ensure your contract includes periodic flights back home.

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