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13/11/2006Like a rolling stone

Like a rolling stone Do you ever get weary of being an expat? I do. But I also know that going back will give me a reverse culture shock which could send me running back to embrace expat life again. Natasha Gunn writes.

Do you ever get weary of being an expat? I do. But I also know that going back will give me a reverse culture shock which could send me running back to embrace expat life again.

At least this is what I have heard happens when you return to a place you call 'home' after several years abroad.

I imagine this reverse culture shock to be an even stronger and more disturbing feeling of the kind of alienation which many expats experience at some point during their time in a foreign country.

It's rather like a sudden wave that passes over you unexpectedly, and in my experience often accompanies a stressful period in your personal life.

I remember being on a kind of 'high' when I first moved to Paris, but then this 'honey-moon' period suddenly wore off and I had a sickening feeling that I could never really fit into this new environment.  Strangely, my rejection of the French culture, manifested itself, only briefly, in a rejection of the national cuisine.

The ancient Chinese proverb 'A tree may grow very high, but its leaves always fall back to the roots' suggests that in the end we all feel drawn back to our roots, but, knowing the effects of reverse culture shock, then we are all in for a blast.

Plus many expats have children who have roots in a country far from the land of their birth and this brings up the question, is there any going back?

I spoke about this with an expatriate I know who chose to move himself and his young family back to his Scottish homeland after spending 20 years in Asia. He said he wanted his children to know their roots.

He brought up another proverb, African this time: 'A people without knowledge of its history is like a tree without roots.'

"If we don't stay in touch with what has happened behind us we can collapse, just like civilisations collapse when they loose sight of their roots," he said.



True, going home is one way of finding our roots. Another way is simply to keep them alive for ourselves and our children through speaking about our origins and theirs. Take them there on holiday, help them keep in touch with family and friends across the globe, remind them they have deep connections. Introduce them to other children with similar multicultural backgrounds and experiences.

In the end, home for a traveller can simply be a place of safety and contentment we have cultivated deep within ourselves. Plus living abroad gives us the opportunity to raise our children – the future global citizens of the world – in a greater understanding and tolerance of other cultures.

Natasha Gunn / Editor / Expatica
________________________

Dear editor,
 
I read your expat article with interest. The fear of feeling lost and alienated when returning to your roots is something I have heard mentioned many times, and indeed it scared me rather when I myself decided to return to the UK, with my three children, after having spent 13 years in Belgium,  before that six years in Holland and a year in Switzerland in-between. So we're talking 20 years away from 'home'.

I returned to the UK earlier on this year, sent the children to an English school, and basically am back to my roots.

And it is great! I truly never expected to feel so settled again so quickly. People have been more welcoming that I could possibly have hoped for, and I dare say I have made more contact with people in the six months I've been back than in my entire 13 years in Belgium!

I only regret that it took so long to make this decision, but hey, I'm here now, living in one of the most beautiful countries of the world, surrounded by warm and friendly people who share my roots, and once more able to enjoy all the essentially English things I had almost forgotten about. I'm not looking back...

Regards,
Valerie

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