topics
tools
Expatica countries
editor's choice

State and private schools in Spain

Festivals in Spain 2011

Should our kids go native too?

Childcare in Spain

Moving to Barcelona with children

Index Last Var.(%)
BEL 20 2119.44 0.28
DAX 6339.94 0.38
IBEX 30 6543 0.13
CAC 40 3047.94 0.32
FTSE 100 5351.53 0.03
AEX 292.76 0.23
DJIA 12454.83 -0.60
Nasdaq 2837.53 -0.07
FTSE MIB 13154.8 0.36
TSX Composite 11576.47 0.09
ASX 4112.1 0.76
Hang seng 18770.85 0.31
Straits Times 2781.52 0.32
ISEQ 20 500.94 1.55
You are here: Home Life in Blogs & photos Relocating to Barcelona with the family

Blogs & Photos

archive
Enlarge font Decrease font Text size


16/01/2009Relocating to Barcelona with the family

Relocating to Barcelona with the family An expat dad writes about his big move to Spain and tells Kids in Barcelona how much he is enjoying parenthood in the city despite the cultural differences.

Take two and a half years in Madrid as a young man, three years wanting to escape from small-town Canada and add an inclination for adventure and you get a family of three flying into Barcelona in June 2008. And one big question asked time and time again: “Why would you move to Barcelona with children?”

I feel overwhelmed. This isn’t an alien feeling these days as the father of a charming, spirited and lovely 2 ½ year-old child. But this time, it isn’t the challenge of grumpy behaviour, bedtime or finding a changing table in Barcelona that’s daunting me: it’s the task of answering a seemingly simple question that I have been asked time and time again in the past six months: “What’s it like living in Barcelona with kids?”
Barcelona Park Güell. Photo by Wolfgang Staudt.
Our decision to relocate to Catalonia was one that we found ourselves defending many times prior to our departure. People in Canada seemed amazed that we would make such a move with a small child.  Would the poor little guy have to live in an apartment? (A rarity in a country where – especially in small towns – grass is the most prized possession, at least when placed neatly around a free-standing home of your own.) Wouldn’t he get confused about the language?  Where there even things to do with kids in Barcelona? And even, once or twice, a blank look and just the word ‘where?’

We weren’t concerned. Our philosophy about parenthood has always been that we live our lives and Oscar is along for the ride. That doesn’t mean that we avoid the typically child-friendly places – far from it – but it does mean that we don’t shy away from less traditional activities for kids. Oscar has loved restaurants for as long as he has been able to express love of anything. It seems pretty clear that he is enjoying the ride that we are offering and that includes, with the notable exception of the actual flight to Europe, our family move to Barcelona.

Now that we are here, no one seems to think it’s an odd choice. Now that we are a relatively established expat family in Spain, people back in Canada are more curious than incredulous, especially those with kids of their own.  

Now we get a flurry of detailed questions: “Are there kids’ parks in Barcelona?  What about summer camps?  Children’s theatre?  What’s childcare in Barcelona like? How does the school system work?” And of course: “Can we come visit?”
To tell the truth, after six months here, we are still figuring out the answers to these and many other questions that keep cropping up. Relocating a family to another country isn’t a straightforward matter. No amount of preparation can tell you what it will actually be like to leave your familiar surroundings (no pun intended) and immerse yourself in another culture.  Research and life just don’t compare.

For example, Katie and I were very impressed with the guardaria or nursery school system here in Barcelona before we arrived. In Canada daycare is an expensive, completely unsubsidised situation until children attend school at five or six. As working parents, the idea of a daycare or playschool that is part of the school system really appealed to us. Then, once we got here, we were a bit taken aback by the style in which these services were offered; too structured and rigid to make leaving our toddler there for eight hours a day an option.  

We loved the cultural offering of Barcelona from afar too, and we still do. But we weren’t prepared for the very different cultural norms when it comes to raising kids. The first time I saw a child not much older than Oscar get a hard slap across the face, I was shocked. More so than the kid, who was obviously used to it.  That just wouldn’t happen in Canada, at least not in public.

Of course, every parent is different and I’ve seen lots of parenting that’s left me slack-jawed in Canada and elsewhere too: I won’t judge Catalan parents for the acts of few. But clearly the rules are different here. We haven’t figured them all out yet, but we are catching on.

The thing that we love most about having a child in Barcelona is the independence that kids are given here, at least when it comes to park etiquette. Where we were in Canada (and maybe in all of Canada) the prevailing parenting style is a very protective one.  Bumps and falls are often treated as near-death experiences and parents tend to follow their little ones around with tissues, organic cookies and softly cooed phrases at the ready to right every little wrong. When Oscar fell I usually just called over to him to pick himself up and let him come to me for a healing kiss if he felt it was needed, which wasn’t often.  That got me some disapproving looks, I can tell you.
Kids here are given much more space for the most part. Of course, the flip side of that is that children in Barcelona seem to be left to their own devices more than I would consider appropriate: things like sharing and name-calling are often left for the kids to figure out for themselves when some adult guidance could really help, for example. All this is just my opinion, of course, and I don’t expect the world – whether in Canada or Spain – to conform to my personal beliefs.  

And when it comes down to it, parenthood is a very individual experience, no matter where you live or what your parenting style is. For me, as a father at home – working from home – I seldom meet others who can relate to my personal experience of parenthood. I’m one of the very few men who seem to get to spend so much time with their kids.  Unfortunately, that doesn’t seem to be any different in Barcelona. I’m still outnumbered by mothers everywhere I go. The parenting information that I find is still usually addressed to moms, mums, mummies and mommies; only now you can add mamás to the list.  I can ignore that. (One notable exception is www.kidsinbarcelona.com.)

I still believe that, apart from the obvious physical considerations of early childhood, gender is irrelevant to parenthood. I haven’t found too many people who agree with me.  But then, I haven’t encountered many parents without at least one belief about raising kids that the world disagrees with. All of our kids are unique and so are we. 

What is it like living with kids in Barcelona?  It’s like living with kids anywhere; hard work and lots of fun. Are there great things to do with kids here? Yes.  Absolutely. Are there unique challenges to face for expats?  Sure.  But wouldn’t there be anywhere? I find that I am better situated to be a thoughtful, patient and engaged parent here because this is where I want to be right now. Katie and I are happy here and that happiness makes us better parents, despite the challenges.

16 January 2009

text: Kids in Barcelona / Ivan Larcombe / Expatica 2009
photo credits: Wolfgangs Staudt and Jaume Meneses
 
For Ivan, all roads lead to Valencia. You can read about his experiences on his blog - Ivan in Valencia -  and on various other sites, including a fortnightly blog, Ya te digo, to Expatica about life in Spain. This article has been reprinted with permission of Kids in Barcelona on January 2009.


2 reactions to this article

Johanna posted: 2009-01-21 12:31:03

I can't imagine someone living only for 6 months in Catalonia being able to provide an objective impression about raising kids in that province of Spain. Tell me what you think when you find out that for elementary school in Spanish you have to pay LOADS of money, otherwise your kids will only get the catalan public education, will not learn proper Spanish and forget about getting foreign languages education properly. Be thankful that you are from Canada and your kids already know English or French....
Compared to the rest of the EU countries, Spain ranks amongst the worst for education....and not in the top position where kids are happy.
After living for almost 5 years there we decided to move to the Netherlands to have our first kid, if we were staying in BCN we wouldn't have looked forward to it.

David posted: 2009-03-15 13:45:10

Johanna hasn't understand how it works. When the Kids are 15, they speak and write both Catalan and Spanish, and the spanish level is similar or best as in other regions in Spain. Priority to catalan language at the school assure that the overwhelming spanish media and State laws don't kill catalan culture.
Of course,the english level in Holland is much better as in Spain, because the root of the language is similar. Italians, Portuguese and French people don't speak good english for the same reason. Nevertheless, catalan kids learn better english as the rest of spanish children, because of the bilingual education.

Add a comment

General rating:

Rate article:    Add my rating



2 reactions to this article

Johanna posted: 2009-01-21 12:31:03

I can't imagine someone living only for 6 months in Catalonia being able to provide an objective impression about raising kids in that province of Spain. Tell me what you think when you find out that for elementary school in Spanish you have to pay LOADS of money, otherwise your kids will only get the catalan public education, will not learn proper Spanish and forget about getting foreign languages education properly. Be thankful that you are from Canada and your kids already know English or French....
Compared to the rest of the EU countries, Spain ranks amongst the worst for education....and not in the top position where kids are happy.
After living for almost 5 years there we decided to move to the Netherlands to have our first kid, if we were staying in BCN we wouldn't have looked forward to it.

David posted: 2009-03-15 13:45:10

Johanna hasn't understand how it works. When the Kids are 15, they speak and write both Catalan and Spanish, and the spanish level is similar or best as in other regions in Spain. Priority to catalan language at the school assure that the overwhelming spanish media and State laws don't kill catalan culture.
Of course,the english level in Holland is much better as in Spain, because the root of the language is similar. Italians, Portuguese and French people don't speak good english for the same reason. Nevertheless, catalan kids learn better english as the rest of spanish children, because of the bilingual education.

Add a comment
Life in essentials
Life in expert Q&A
ask your question
Life in A-Z listings
find the business you need
Discussion Forums

Technology in Spain

Sat phones/internet links

English in Spain

What is the best travel insurance cover to Spain?

American in Spain

U.S. citizens, plan to vote in 2012? Did you know...

Relocation to Spain

thinking of moving to madrid

Jobs in Spain

Job Agencies or how to find work.

participate in the forums

Inside Expatica
Editor's Guide: Getting Started in Spain

Editor's Guide: Getting Started in Spain

Expatica's Getting Started section will provide practical information on how you can open a bank account, exchange your driving licence, improve your Spanish, and more.

Groups and Clubs in Madrid

Groups and Clubs in Madrid

Here's a guide to an extensive list of groups and clubs in Madrid for expats, from sports groups to social and family gatherings.

Groups and Clubs around Spain

Groups and Clubs around Spain

A brief introduction to our Tax section for Spain, from help with inheritance tax to accounting advice.

Groups and Clubs in Barcelona

Groups and Clubs in Barcelona

Here's a short introduction to our Banking section for those living in Spain, from what to ask the experts to opening a Spanish bank account.