"I'm sick of having to leave home two hours early, of paying EUR 35 for a taxi, waiting to check in and then being made to take my shoes off, of having my aftershave confiscated, of the flight always taking off late, of having to follow the robotic instructions of the flight attendants, of turbulence, of bad landings..."
That litany of complaints can regularly be heard in the airports of Madrid and Barcelona - the two ends of Spain's so-called "air bridge," the busiest air corridor in the world that has long been loathed by business people and travellers who regularly have to use it.
Fortunately, there is now an alternative, and increasing numbers of people are opting for it.
Since the Madrid-Barcelona high-speed rail link officially began operating on 27 February, more than 2.7 million passengers have jumped on a train to avoid the inconvenience, humiliation and discomfort of modern air travel.
Instead of being manhandled by security guards and glared at by airline staff, passengers of AVE trains are able to walk around, eat, drink, listen to music or surf the web in far more comfort than they would have on a plane.
The result has been a sharp drop in the number of people using the air bridge, which until February carried 88 percent of those travelling between Madrid and Barcelona. Now planes transport just 41 percent of people on that route.
"Comfort, reliability and punctuality are the keys to the success of the AVE. There is also the fact that a lot of people are afraid to fly," says José Salgueiro, the chairman of national railway operator Renfe.
That factor could further boost AVE passenger numbers in the wake of the crash of a Spanair plane at Madrid's Barajas airport on 20 August.
Currently occupancy on the high speed trains running between the capital and Spain's second city is above 70 percent.
Unlike the Madrid-Seville AVE that was inaugurated in the early 1990s and has been used since mainly by leisure travellers, the Madrid-Barcelona route is overwhelmingly popular with business travellers.
The journey takes two hours and 38 minutes from city centre to city centre, whereas the same journey by plane involves spending an hour in the air and countless hours getting to the airport, waiting to check in and then getting into the city at the other end.
"On the AVE, passengers are in charge of their time. They can get organised, work, have a snack and they know exactly when it will leave and when it will arrive. On a plane, you're a prisoner and dependant on thousands of external factors," notes Abelardo Carrillo, the director general of Spain's high-speed rail networks.
The AVE has proven to be punctual - arriving on time 99.2 percent of the time - and Renfe offers to repay half the price of a ticket if passengers arrive 15 minutes late and a full refund in the event of a delay of over 30 minutes.
Airlines Iberia and Spanair, which offer no such guarantees, are on time 94 percent and 63 percent of the time, respectively.
"More people are switching from planes to trains because railways have started to become a quality means of transport with high levels of comfort, and because they are competitive in terms of time and price," argues José Caparros, the head of train builder Bombardier in Spain.
A one-way trip on the AVE between Madrid and Barcelona costs EUR 168.50, around EUR 30 less than Iberia's full-priced fare.
However, airlines argue that the cost of the ticket does not take into account the EUR 16 billion Spain has spent on laying high-speed rail networks in recent years, half of which came from taxpayers.
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The Madrid-Barcelona high-speed trains are threatening domestic airlines as they save time and money.
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