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Leon and Alice Walker and their three daughters have been on the move for 20 years now. Within that time they have moved from England to Scotland and back again, to America, to Norway (twice) and now to Jakarta.
"I never call England home," she says. "As far as the family is concerned home is where we are now."
It is easy to say that home should be where your nuclear family finds itself, rather than the country named on the front of your passport. Yet achieving this requires a positive attitude and hard work.
We suffer loss, insecurity and grief every time we move from one country to another. Leaving behind a group of friends, familiar places and routines is similar to bereavement. It's surprising any of us survive more than one posting, when you think of the list of problems we are forced to encounter every time we move on.
Kathy Hewitt is an Australian clinical social worker. Katherine (Kit) Prendergast is a licensed clinical social worker from the United States. They met by chance in Norway and, for a year or so when their paths crossed, channelled their energy into running workshops for parents on the subject of moving with children.
"If there is one key word to surviving the transition and turning it into a positive experience, that word is support. Support is what you leave behind and need so badly. Yet, with thought, you can ensure that you take a fair amount of that support along with you," says Kit.
"Try to pack lots of photographs of family and friends. They will remind the children that they have made friends before and will make them again," says Kathy, who goes on to suggest that you encourage your children to send postcards to all the people they miss so badly at first. You could pass pre-addressed cards to classmates before you depart. Try to let your children leave in the knowledge that they will not be forgotten.
Kit and Kathy's lecture has been of tremendous help to parents who find their children growing more upset with every move. Most course delegates tend to be women, but a growing number of fathers want to discover what traumas go on at home while they trudge back and forth to a familiar work environment.
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