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You are here: Home Moving to Repatriation Home is where the heart, and adventure, is

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29/10/2010Home is where the heart, and adventure, is

Home is where the heart, and adventure, is What does it mean to be home? Expat Audrey Hill describes how repatriation can keep the adventurous life alive even in familiar territory because, after all, home is where the heart is.

When I made the move to Spain I didn’t know what to expect. Sure, I had done my research on what life might be like as an ESL teacher, and I had studied abroad in Spain in college, but that had seemed more like an extended vacation than a real move. I had been surrounded by other Americans who shared goals of improving their Spanish and having the time of their lives in a foreign country. But this was a deliberate, structured environment, one dictated by the leaders of the program, and certainly not what I would call ‘real life’.

This time, I intended to immerse myself in Spanish life for real, complete with the makings of a real life: a job, a Spanish house, no host family and no planned excursions. I moved expecting everything to be a challenge, and I had a ‘bring it on’ sort of attitude about welcoming the challenges I would face.

Two years later when I had to start thinking about moving back to the States I thought I knew what to expect. After all, I was going back home. Yet I was also aware that my idea of home had shifted drastically from two years before when I had moved to Spain. What is home, after all?


Define home: a place

The first definition on Dictionary.com is quite literal:

A house, apartment, or other shelter that is the usual residence of a person, family, or household.

According to this definition my home had merely changed. My home had been in the United States -- Kentucky to be exact -- then for the past two years I made my home in Spain. Easy enough: I was going back home to the home I had known for over 20 years.

Then why was it so scary? I was moving back to the familiar, where life was fairly predictable, where language barriers were rarely a problem, and where old friends and family were a drive (not a transcontinental plane trip) away. This was where I didn’t stand out at as a foreigner, and where I (theoretically) had my choice of more jobs and opportunities than an American expat living in Spain.

When I first landed in the US it felt like a visit, much like it had felt when I landed on Spanish ground in Madrid two years before (armed with two suitcases and a Spanish-English dictionary). Since I had sold my house before moving to Spain, I didn’t have a ‘home’ to go back to. Since I had quit my job to start over in Spain, I didn’t have a job to resume. And living in the spare bedroom at my childhood home while I looked for a job hardly felt permanent.

But was permanence what I was seeking? After all, I hadn’t planned on living in Spain forever. For longer than two years, yes, but not forever. I had learned that the adventurer in me seeks -- no, craves -- change. Change makes me feel comfortable rather than uneasy.

Perhaps this is partly because I can count at least eight houses and four cities I lived in by the time I was 16. I've always been a big believer in happiness being a choice, and I find it easy to be happy in a variety of different circumstances. But does this idea fundamentally conflict with the idea of ‘home’?


Define home: a feeling

Look up home on OxfordDictionaries.com and you’ll find this:

The place where one lives permanently, especially as a member of a family or household.

This definition implies much more than place. It implies that home means comfort, belonging and relationships -- but permanence? I choose to think of home as a transient state and place, not as a stagnant one. It’s the place where I live, whether it’s in a foreign country or my native land. It has to do with people, relationships and family, and less to do with structure or familiarity.

Some of us are happy living in the same home for a lifetime, while others get antsy if things stay the same for too long. Some live to explore new places, meet new people and be removed from our comfort zone. The challenges are what we live for. There is comfort in the unexpected.

Still, moving back to ‘normal’ can be shocking. In the US I don’t walk by ancient cathedrals on my way to work. I drive my car to work every day, but I enjoy listening to my favourite radio station.

I don’t take weekend bus trips to medieval cities to see a painting by El Greco, but I do volunteer at the local museum of art and see a Dali exhibit from time to time.

I no longer walk from house to house to teach a different English class every few hours. I now stay at the same office for over eight hours a day, but I love my job, and I still teach ESL once a week.

A different idea of happiness? Absolutely. But wherever we live can be an adventure and a challenge, as long as we continually push ourselves out of our comfort zone. Until my next adventure (and I’m certain there will be more) I’ll be happy living this one.

Audrey Hill is a writer and editor who has spent time living in Spain and traveling Europe. She moved to Spain to study abroad and experience living and working abroad and soon settled as a private English teacher before moving back to the US in late 2007. You can read her Expat Voices profile here.


1 reaction to this article

chris posted: 2012-01-06 14:31:32

Nice piece about home. I wonder if you came back to the US and made your own way or if you found a JOB. And I also wonder if you found the definition of home you wanted. I hope so. After years abroad I'm contemplating moving back to the US and making my own study abroad homestay service in the countryside with vacation type English immersion activities.

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1 reaction to this article

chris posted: 2012-01-06 14:31:32

Nice piece about home. I wonder if you came back to the US and made your own way or if you found a JOB. And I also wonder if you found the definition of home you wanted. I hope so. After years abroad I'm contemplating moving back to the US and making my own study abroad homestay service in the countryside with vacation type English immersion activities.

Add a comment

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