Our Guest Editor, British au pair Louise Osborne, says goodbye to her new friends and adopted family to start a new life – again - and reflects on what she is leaving behind.

When I came to Germany and wrote my first column for Expatica, I detailed how much I would miss my family and friends in England and how scared I was at the prospect of making the same mistakes that I had made in my first foray abroad, in Spain.

I was so worried that I didn’t even consider how I would feel when it came time to leave Germany - it was too far in the future. But sure enough, it’s crept up, much quicker than I thought it would, and in just a couple of days I will return to the UK.

It’s strange to think that I began my time in Germany, with the fear that I would not be able to cope in a new country, with a different way of life. But despite leaving everything behind, I have managed to forge a new life for myself here in Germany.

The majority of my time here has been spent working as an au pair for a family in Mainz. It's tempting to think of being an au pair as just a job but instead, you become part of the family. You take part in their daily lives, you wake up with them, eat with them, spend time with them and watch them learn and grow. And if you’re lucky, as I have been, you become friends with them.

Because of this, it is impossible to abide by the strict German regulations on how much an au pair is able to work per week. Coupled with their guidelines that an au pair should take part in the daily running of the house and be seen as a member of the family, it is difficult to say to the children that you are only allowed to play with them until 2 p.m. No child thinks, 'she will be in the house after this time but not working so I can't bother her.'

However, despite these difficulties, I have found pleasure in being involved with a new family and participating in their lives.

One of the activities I've participated in, is taking Anna, who is three, to kindergarten. Everyday, she is someone different - be it the mum, me or another child she knows from kindergarten. As I encourage her to put on her coat and scarf every morning, I ask, "So who are you today, Anna?" A question which is often met with the reply, "Ich bin die Mama."

"Ok," I say gently, trying to decide which language I should speak and what I should say next to make sure we make it out of the door on time. I decide on, "Can die Mama please put her coat on so that she can take das Kind [me] to Kindergarten?"

"Gleich," she replies, leaving me with the despairing feeling that we may never make it.

And so this has been part of my daily routine while I have lived in Germany. Perhaps it is not the most exciting of routines. Perhaps the one I had in Spain of going to university everyday and going out every night was more exciting. But I have come to know a wonderful culture and a different way of living, through a family, that I never thought I could enjoy. I now know I will miss it dearly.

I will also miss the friends I have made in the last few months. Mostly they are mothers of other children that go to the same kindergarten as the children I look after. They have welcomed me with open arms into their community and often also their homes. I have experienced a vast hospitality that only comes from living in a small village.

Every week, I visit my friend, a mother who is Taiwanese and she makes me delicious, fresh Chinese food while we talk and play with her children.

Also, there are the friends I have made in my German language class who, like me, chose to move to a new country. Together we have learnt some German, experiencing the difficulties of living in a new country with a foreign language and learning that language as best as we can, surviving by having a quick cocktail afterwards to celebrate our achievements.

In my short time here, I have learnt not to have fear of living abroad and experiencing new things. In Germany I have accomplished things that I never thought I could have at home, living with another family and caring for two children and also following my dream of becoming a journalist by editing and writing for Expatica. But by taking that first step and being open to new paths, I can now see that anything is possible.

So now, it’s time to return to the UK and go to journalism school. And as excited as I am to be going home to start something new, I’m sorry to leave the country, which I have called home for the past four months, and the people who have made it so.

30th January 2008

Copyright Expatica 2008