Sun, 8 November 2009
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To text or not to text? That is the question. Because in the era of text messaging, Facebook and Twitter, the art of flirtation has changed. We examine love and heartbreak in these changing times in a two-part series.There is space for just 160 characters on that little cell phone screen – not much space for recounting disastrous misunderstandings, sleepless nights and awful embarrassments.
Text messages are both a curse and a blessing – above all when they are used in new relationships or to flirt.
The question is not simply whether to send a text message, but what to write and when to send it. And after a message is sent, what if there is no reply? The waiting begins. Flirting in the time of text messages is not only easier but more immediate.
"The speed takes a bit of the tension away," said Jan Schaumann, a behavioural consultant in Berlin.
Fast and furious
Text messaging also shortens the anticipation time between dates. Used correctly, text messages can be valuable, provided they are not overused at the beginning of a relationship.
"Cell phones make possible a completely different time span in which one party contacts the other," said Nina Deissler, a flirt coach in Hamburg. Once there was a standard grace period of two to three days before a man called a woman after their first date. In the 21st century, it is not unusual for the phone to ring on the way home.
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