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You are here: Home Life in Blogs & photos Become an ugly expat in 12 easy steps
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15/04/2011Become an ugly expat in 12 easy steps

Become an ugly expat in 12 easy steps Canadian repatriate Maria Foley proposes retiring the expression "Ugly American," a pejorative and stereotypical term for US expatriates who alienate the locals, and suggests replacing it with Ugly Expat.

You're probably familiar with the expression "Ugly American," a pejorative and stereotypical term for US expatriates who alienate the locals with their loud and disrespectful behaviour. It comes from the 1958 book The Ugly American, a cautionary tale that tells the story of corrupt and ethnocentric American bureaucrats in Southeast Asia.

One of the characters in the book characterizes Ugly Americans like this:

"A mysterious change seems to come over Americans when they go to a foreign land. They isolate themselves socially. They live pretentiously. They're loud and ostentatious."

Ugliness: it's not just for Americans anymore

This being the age of globalization, it seems unfair to single out Americans as the champions of boorish behaviour abroad. In the spirit of inclusiveness, I'd like to propose we retire the expression Ugly American and replace it with Ugly Expat. Cultural disrespect is an equal opportunity sport, after all - one the entire world is eager to play.

 

Not all Ugly Expats are arrogant and ignorant (although that's the most dangerous combination); some give off the ugly vibe because they're paralyzed by fear and unsure of how to behave. Some merely lack the ability to translate their good intentions into culturally-appropriate actions.

You, too, can be an Ugly Expat!

Some expats come by their ugliness naturally. For those who have to work at it, here's a handy 12-step programme. I've tested out a couple of these myself (all in the name of research, of course!) and can pretty much guarantee their effectiveness. If you start at #1 and repeat as needed, you'll be an Ugly Expat in no time.

1.
 Don't waste your valuable time researching your destination or its people before you move - a country's history or dominant cultural values are no concern of yours. And for heaven's sake, don't throw away your money on any of that cross-cultural training mumbo jumbo - everyone knows what a scam that is.

2.
 Likewise, don't bother reading up on the causes and symptoms of culture shock, or how to alleviate it. That's what Valium is for. (Pack lots!)

3. Isolate yourself. Shut yourself up in your compound/condo and refuse all contact with local people. If there's an exclusive expatriate club nearby, rejoice: you're saved! Choose your new friends with care, weeding out any prospects who have ‘Gone native'. (Being too chummy with the locals is a dead giveaway.) Successful candidates will have already aced the 12 steps and will embrace you as a kindred spirit.

4. Show off your wealth, especially if you live in a developing nation. Your baubles and fancy toys will breed admiration and respect among the impoverished masses, who will revere you as a role model.

5. Under no circumstances should you eat local food. They eat that unsanitary crap because they don't know any better; you do. (You can't be too careful - who knows what you might pick up?) If you're offered anything unrecognizable, be sure to show your disdain by peppering your refusal with terms such as "dysentery" and "intestinal worms." Gagging noises are optional.

6. Let everyone know how backward the country is, and how much better things are back home. I can't stress this enough - never let an opportunity to compare the two countries pass you by. It's your duty to teach the local populace a thing or two, and opening their eyes to their own inferiority will endear you to them. (Bonus points if you can insult cultural and religious icons or other objects of reverence.)


7.
 Speak your own language exclusively, especially if it happens to be English. (If the locals haven't bowed to global pressure and learned it already, that's their problem.) In a pinch, speaking very s-l-o-w-l-y and very LOUDLY should help them understand you. Trust me; they'll love being talked to as though they were five years old. If they still don't understand, throw your hands up in disgust and walk away, muttering under your breath. There's some body language that won't get lost in translation!

8.
 Don't try to understand - much less accommodate - local customs. If it's not The Way Things Are Back Home, it's irrelevant. (Let them know they're not fooling you with that siesta thing, for example. Everyone knows daytime napping is nothing but sheer laziness. The steaming midday temperature is just an excuse.)

9. Treat your household staff like the servants they are. They don't need a day off, and you and I both know that hot water would only spoil them. Since it's for their own good, I'm sure they'll thank you later.

10. Social networking was invented for people stuck in godforsaken places like this. Spend all day on Facebook, Twitter, and email, lying about how much fun you're having. Then log onto Farmville and spend some quality time doing whatever it is people on Farmville do.

11. Drink. A lot. It makes life so much fun, both for you and those around you.

12. Take your frustrations out on your husband. It's all his fault, anyway. If it weren't for his precious career, you'd be back home among people who matter, instead of wasting the best years of your life in this hellhole.

 

Maria Foley / Expatica

Maria Foley is a Canadian who lived and raised a family as an expat for many years. Aside from writing for Suite 101, Foley still writes about her expat life on her blog, I was an expat wife. 



10 reactions to this article

James Drew posted: 2011-04-15 09:40:40

This is an excellent article, Maria - funny, witty and wincingly accurate. I have lived in Brussels for ten years now, and I have met many expats that fit your description. :-)

Sarah posted: 2011-04-15 11:04:45

I was right there with you until I got to the last one. It's 2011! Why are you assuming that expats are "trailing wives"? We have men that follow their wives now and, god forbid, single people out there too!

Angus posted: 2011-04-15 11:20:41

Spot on! Just substitute Dutch for American and you've got the typical animal we get here in the Ardennes - loud, no manners, no French, bring own food and drink, etc. Yet I have Dutch friends who are not at all like that. Is it a separate breed they send down south?

Maria Foley posted: 2011-04-15 20:46:40

Sarah, you're absolutely right that expats come in many flavours. However, this piece was originally written for my blog, I Was An Expat Wife, which, as the title implies, is pretty tightly focused on female expat spouses. No offence intended.

linda@adventuresinexpatland.com posted: 2011-04-15 21:48:27

I think you've covered just about everything! Great article, very funny.

Francesca posted: 2011-04-20 14:19:52

You are right, Maria, the Ugly American is long overdue for a name change and the Ugly Expat fits well. There should also be the Ugly Tourist. We are starting to experience a bout of that in Paris now and my former home, New York City, seems to continually suffer from that problem especially around Christmas.

I would be slow to lay any blame on social networks for the ugly expat syndrome. FACEBOOK and Farmville are highly addictive. There are even Farmville addicts support groups. I was totally addicted to FB both here in Paris, where I am by choice and love, and in the U.S. Rarely did I see the sun. If anyone asked me what I did on FB, I really couldn't tell them. It's pretty mindless. I finally quit. Happy to say I didn't go through a painful withdrawal. Fortunately, I never succumbed to Farmville.

http://articles.cnn.com/2009-04-23/health/ep.facebook.addict_1_facebook-page-facebook-world-social-networking?_s=PM:HEALTH

Nancy stout flemming posted: 2011-04-20 16:33:12

Such a perfect description!!! The biggest 'give away' for American tourists is the big , ugly running shoes. That somehow also smacks of a lack of regard for another culture.
I love trying to immerse myself in another culture through their food , their architecture, customs, markets, etc. I have been guilty of laughing loudly with friends at table and realizing how uncouth I must have seemed!
Thanks for a great article.
Nancy Flemming

ugly expat posted: 2011-04-25 14:31:12

Could it possibly be, Nancy Stout Flemming, that those "ugly running shoes" you mention are worn for either medical reasons or for comfort reasons? Enjoy your 8 inch heels, my darling, but please, don't complain how you are suffering for beauty and to fit into a culture that simply does not want you anyway.

Parisian Thinker posted: 2011-04-28 12:09:34

I am an American expat who has lived in 7 countries. Today, long time expats are easily history buffs with the wonderful help from WIKI, have the app "Culture GPS" on their IPHONES, and have read at least Edward Hall and Geert Hofstede's works.

They do indeed compare all countries food, radiation levels, medical care, customer service or lack thereof, prices, resources, sanitation, and ways of organizing. Afer all, this is the story of the world for anyone who wants to see the big picture.

Countries really are just like department stores. Some sell this and others sell that. If you are intelligent, you can make use of all of these differences by cherry picking what is best for you. Just follow the money and do what the capitalist do.

wallpaper posted: 2012-04-19 19:30:28

You raised a pretty valid point here but don't you think its conflicting. What I mean to say that your point of view is different from traditional views on this topic.

10 reactions to this article

James Drew posted: 2011-04-15 09:40:40

This is an excellent article, Maria - funny, witty and wincingly accurate. I have lived in Brussels for ten years now, and I have met many expats that fit your description. :-)

Sarah posted: 2011-04-15 11:04:45

I was right there with you until I got to the last one. It's 2011! Why are you assuming that expats are "trailing wives"? We have men that follow their wives now and, god forbid, single people out there too!

Angus posted: 2011-04-15 11:20:41

Spot on! Just substitute Dutch for American and you've got the typical animal we get here in the Ardennes - loud, no manners, no French, bring own food and drink, etc. Yet I have Dutch friends who are not at all like that. Is it a separate breed they send down south?

Maria Foley posted: 2011-04-15 20:46:40

Sarah, you're absolutely right that expats come in many flavours. However, this piece was originally written for my blog, I Was An Expat Wife, which, as the title implies, is pretty tightly focused on female expat spouses. No offence intended.

linda@adventuresinexpatland.com posted: 2011-04-15 21:48:27

I think you've covered just about everything! Great article, very funny.

Francesca posted: 2011-04-20 14:19:52

You are right, Maria, the Ugly American is long overdue for a name change and the Ugly Expat fits well. There should also be the Ugly Tourist. We are starting to experience a bout of that in Paris now and my former home, New York City, seems to continually suffer from that problem especially around Christmas.

I would be slow to lay any blame on social networks for the ugly expat syndrome. FACEBOOK and Farmville are highly addictive. There are even Farmville addicts support groups. I was totally addicted to FB both here in Paris, where I am by choice and love, and in the U.S. Rarely did I see the sun. If anyone asked me what I did on FB, I really couldn't tell them. It's pretty mindless. I finally quit. Happy to say I didn't go through a painful withdrawal. Fortunately, I never succumbed to Farmville.

http://articles.cnn.com/2009-04-23/health/ep.facebook.addict_1_facebook-page-facebook-world-social-networking?_s=PM:HEALTH

Nancy stout flemming posted: 2011-04-20 16:33:12

Such a perfect description!!! The biggest 'give away' for American tourists is the big , ugly running shoes. That somehow also smacks of a lack of regard for another culture.
I love trying to immerse myself in another culture through their food , their architecture, customs, markets, etc. I have been guilty of laughing loudly with friends at table and realizing how uncouth I must have seemed!
Thanks for a great article.
Nancy Flemming

ugly expat posted: 2011-04-25 14:31:12

Could it possibly be, Nancy Stout Flemming, that those "ugly running shoes" you mention are worn for either medical reasons or for comfort reasons? Enjoy your 8 inch heels, my darling, but please, don't complain how you are suffering for beauty and to fit into a culture that simply does not want you anyway.

Parisian Thinker posted: 2011-04-28 12:09:34

I am an American expat who has lived in 7 countries. Today, long time expats are easily history buffs with the wonderful help from WIKI, have the app "Culture GPS" on their IPHONES, and have read at least Edward Hall and Geert Hofstede's works.

They do indeed compare all countries food, radiation levels, medical care, customer service or lack thereof, prices, resources, sanitation, and ways of organizing. Afer all, this is the story of the world for anyone who wants to see the big picture.

Countries really are just like department stores. Some sell this and others sell that. If you are intelligent, you can make use of all of these differences by cherry picking what is best for you. Just follow the money and do what the capitalist do.

wallpaper posted: 2012-04-19 19:30:28

You raised a pretty valid point here but don't you think its conflicting. What I mean to say that your point of view is different from traditional views on this topic.

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