When Rebecca Pinto, a receptionist from Australia, first arrived in Berlin in 2003 she didn’t know anyone.  It took time, but once she had found a job she did meet new people, including the man who is now her partner.

“Working in a friendly environment makes a big difference. Also, when you meet people they can introduce you to their friends and often friendships develop from that. But it’s really hard to meet new people in Berlin,” she says.

Getting to know people can be the hard part of settling into a new country

This feeling of isolation is intensified when there is a language barrier to break through. As a result, many find themselves in the situation of either remaining lonely or surrounding themselves with an “expat society”, which can have its limitations when you want to learn more about the culture of the country you’re living in. Either way, you’re ready to meet new people. But where do you start?

Learn the language

While it is relatively easy to get by in some parts of Germany with little or no German,
learning the language is a must if you want to settle in properly.

Germany has no shortage of schools that teach Deutsch als Fremdsprache (German as a foreign language). The schools range in size, quality and cost, so it’s worth doing some research on the internet and in magazines to find one that suits you (see links below for a list). The advantage of language schools is that they are a great way to meet other foreigners and swap tips about living in a new country. At the same time, you’re picking up some language skills – and hence earning the respect of the locals.

Find a German Tandem Partner

A Tandem Partner is someone with whom you can do a language swap. In Germany, this can be an ideal way to meet a German local or two and learn more about the culture.

Many language schools provide this service. The whole experience can be somewhat like a (platonic) blind date – you fill in a form stating what kind of Tandem Partner you want, including preferences for gender, age, language ability and interests. When they find a match, you get a call (obviously, the less specific you are the faster the process is likely to be).

Another option is looking in German magazines, such as Tip or Zitty in Berlin, for advertisements from people looking for a Tandem Partner. The exchange can be between any two languages, but German and English are the most common.

You can have as many Tandem Partners as your time allows for. Your partner is also likely to introduce you to their friends, hence increasing your contacts - and hopefully number of friends - in Germany.

Chat in English (and have a drink)

If you want to meet new people but prefer to keep the conversation in English, there are plenty of places where English speakers meet for a drink and a chat. Called a Stammtisch in Germany (a regular table at a bar where people meet), this is where you can come on a set day at a set time and know there’ll be someone to talk to.

One example in Berlin is called the Party in English. Organised by Charles Clawson, a writer and teacher from Seattle, it is held every second Wednesday in Berlin-Mitte. Entry is free for native English speakers and a small cocktail is provided.

The workplace can be the perfect place to make new friends

 “It attracts an interesting crowd, both professionals and artists,” says Clawson. “It’s a chance to meet some locals and native speakers. First of all, it’s a party.”

Wandering into a British or Irish pub might also be the ticket to encountering some fellow expatriates, and these bars often have big screens for major sport events.

Also, don’t forget to use existing networks – what about events organised by your workplace, or your children’s school? Or you could try registering with your local embassy, which will put you on their mailing list for any gatherings.

For a list of expatriate groups and organisations in Germany, see the links below.

Follow your interests

What did you do in your free time in your native country? Whether it was acting, yoga or rugby, many activities are likely to be available in Germany, too. Look for a sports team, join a club or take a course.

For example, when Yoko Nemoto moved to Germany, she found a class teaching the martial art of kendo, which she had studied in Japan for many years. Through the class she met German people who were interested in Japanese culture.

Many classes are also available in English. Check the classifieds of English language publications or use Google to find one for you. If you can’t find what you’re looking for, start your own.

Let your mouse do the work

There is no shortage of online message boards or forums where people can “meet”. This can also be an ideal way of gathering support networks and contacts before you arrive in Germany.

If you can’t find what you’re looking for, post a message and ask. That’s what online forums are for and people are usually more than happy to offer tips. Message boards can be a great way to connect with fellow expatriates – or anyone else, for that matter.

Be patient

Remember, good friends aren’t made overnight. The key is to be patient and reciprocate invitations. Friends are unlikely to come to you – take the initiative and look for interesting, positive people who will enhance your expat life.

Useful Links

Expatica's online forum (Germany)

http://www.expatica.com/source/forum_forums.asp?channel_id=2&forum_type_id=3

Expatica's list of clubs and organisations in Germany

http://www.expatica.com/source/site_article.asp?subchannel_id=40&story_id=3047

Party in English and Book Exchange (Berlin)

Every fortnight
BOMA Cocktail Bar
Neue Schönhauser Str. 10
(S-Bahn Hackescher Markt)
For more information call
Charles Clawson on 0163-52 72 213
or email charlesclawson@hotmail.com.

German Language Schools in Germany

http://www.europa-pages.com/german/

October 2004

[Copyright Expatica 2004]

Subject: Life in Germany, relocation, how to meet people.