It all started with me walking down to a branch of Sparkasse close to my apartment, my new home, with my passport and a couple of letters.

I brought the letters along as proof of my current address. I thought I would fill out a form, and without the aid of magic, I would be a member of the Sparkasse community. How naïve I was.

The gracious lady who patiently endured my imitation of Hochdeutsch at Sparkasse, said letters did not count, that I needed to register my address with the police, at a police station with a Meldestelle (registration point).

The police? Why did the police need to be involved?

In the States, where I am from, you go to the police station handcuffed in the back of a police car. This is not the case in Germany. In Germany, everyone has to register his or her address with the police.

As I was walking home from Sparkasse, feeling somehow heavier, I saw a policeman writing out a parking ticket. The good public servant directed me to two Meldestellen.

I thanked him, and walked to the nearest one, a couple miles away. Another error.

You cannot go to just any police station to register your address. I made it to a Meldestelle, but it was not a "gut" one. I needed to go the Meldestelle with jurisdiction for my area of Mitte.

The administrator of the wrong Meldestelle was kind enough - and if not for the kindness of people I would still be without a bank account - to give me the telephone number and address of my Meldestelle.

I walked home and gave a ring to my Meldestelle, and a hard-to-understand voice told me to fill out an "Anmeldung bei der Meldebehörde - Landeseinwohneramt Berlin" form (could you repeat that?) and bring it with me to register my address.

The voice said I could pick one up at any stationary store or download one over the Internet. I opted for a stationery store since I was still waiting for my Internet connection in Berlin.

I walked over to a McPaper & Co store and bought the form for DM 1,99.

The form is simple, and takes only a few minutes to fill out.

The next day, with form and passport, I walked down to my Meldestelle and grabbed a number from the Warte-Marken.

I felt like I was buying meat in an American supermarket. Be prepared to wait, meaning, bring a good-sized book. There were maybe 15 numbers ahead of mine, and I waited around an hour before my number flashed on the screen, next to an office number.

I walked to the appropriate office where a man behind a desk took my form, punched the keyboard of his computer, asked how I was doing, and in five minutes I had my address certificate, Anmeldebestätigung.

The stress was over.

Now I could go to a bank and show my Anmeldebestätigung and passport, and an account was mine. Finally!

I have since got an Internet connection and have checked out the web site of the Landeseinwohneramt, the government department of which the Meldestellen are within.

You can find out almost everything you need to know here, from where your Meldestelle is located, to office hours and telephone numbers.

The web address is www.berlin.de/landeseinwohneramt. You can download the Anmeldung bei der Meldebehörde -- Landeseinwohneramt Berlin form here.

When you know what to do, the procedure of opening a bank account should be a snap. If only I had this information before I started down the path in ignorance for getting my "EC-Karte."

A brief recap:

• Get, either at a stationery store or over the Internet, and fill out an "Anmeldung bei der Meldebehörde -- Landeseinwohneramt Berlin".

   

• Find the Meldestelle with jurisdiction for your area, and go there, with a book to read.

   

• Walk into a bank with your passport and your crisp Anmeldebestätigung.

Now jump in the air and click your heels.

You have a bank account.