Sun, 8 November 2009
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Frank Arndt looks at cases where the expat dream ends in despair and frustration. If your marriage breaks down, the prospects can be daunting if you are “stuck” in a foreign country.In all areas of life, the world is getting smaller. Every year, British families embark on the dream of a new life abroad. At the same time, long-distance relationships are on the rise.
For many expats, this new life provides all the happiness and enjoyment for which they had hoped. For an unfortunate few, this dream ends in despair and frustration. If your marriage breaks down, the prospects can be daunting if you are “stuck” in a foreign country, without a strong grasp of the language or knowledge of local culture.
However, while you may feel isolated, faced with complicated legal issues and dealing with foreign lawyers in an alien language, the truth is that help is always at hand.
Dealing with the problem
My own firm has helped people from all over the world who have found themselves in such a situation and called upon us for assistance. In almost every case, the first questions we have been asked have concerned the client’s children: what can be done to protect them? What can be done to ensure that access is not unfairly restricted?
The good news is that even in the most serious of cases, where spouses return home one day to find their partners have fled taking the children, there are legal remedies. Although divorce is an extremely traumatic experience for any parent to go through, the first steps are always the most important and the main priority is to keep a level head.
For example, if certain criteria are met, you may be able to argue that you have a right to file legal proceedings in another country. Different countries require different levels of “residency” to allow legal proceedings to start. This question is no small one, because family law can vary enormously between one country and another – and the financial implications can loom large.
I found this article to be more helpful to fathers living in a foreign country than for mothers in that situation. What steps should mothers take when they are living abroad and simply want to move back with a child to their home country and family after a separation or divorce? Is it so wrong to want some family support and the familiarity your native language in a difficult time? What about the prospect that it might be easier to earn a living in the mother's native country? Is it a given that a mother living abroad will end up being be "trapped" in that foreign country just for the right to stay with her child? That idea makes me very nervous.
Hello Leslie
I read the same articla as you regarding international relocation with our children, I think I agree that is is fairly helpful to fathers although I still feel like there are no real answears anywhere for what I should do to get home or what the consequences might be. Im stuck in Cape town with my children, aged 5 and 7 soon, I cannot get back to the UK where all my family and relatives stay, I applied to the high court for a relocation odrer last year, as their fatherwith drew his consent after learning of a new relationship I am now in, the family advocate office recommened that the children do not relocate and this stuffed the application up, i was then advised my by my lawyer in SA to withdraw the relocation appilcation on the day of court and step down, to try again the following year, and bringing the application forward then. My Boyfriend is also English and our intension is to return to the uk where we belong as soon as it seems like a good time to go back to court.
Please tell me where you live in the world, are you in a similar situation ? I would like to hear from you.
Yours kindly
Mel
I am an U.S. citizen living in Ireland with my two children and my partner. Two years ago I moved here from America with verbal permission from my ex-husband. At the time I thought that was sufficient as he agreed verbally and signed off on their passport documentation. The kids write and call their dad and make extended visits during their summer and one other long holiday break to see him. I also send him updates on their daily happenings weekly and occasionally, when we can have a good call, ring him specifically to fill him in. He was the one who set-up our amounts for child support.. I agreed and have never asked for more. He has remarried and has two babies plus his new wife has two kids of her own. Our children are 8y and 13y. And now is threatening to go to court to say that I have taken the kids out of the country and that I am at his 'benevolence' if I wish to remain in Ireland or receive child support and is really put out that I am involved in a relationship. I am having the most difficult time finding help in this matter.
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