Many expat families already know the system of au pairs from their home country. Basically, it is the same in Germany.

A young woman or a young man from abroad, between 18 and 26 years old, comes for six to 12 months to live with you, to learn German and to help you with the kids. The basic idea is of give and take and to learn from each other. An au pair gets at least DM 500 pocket money per month for a maximum of 30 work hours per week.

Many German families take au pairs as childminders if the working hours of the host parents are a bit difficult.

Keep in mind: Before you invite an au pair you must check the visa rules with your local Ausländeramt or with an au pair agency. Some may see it as an obstacle that you yourself are a foreigner.

In any case it's important that you feel able to help the au pair experience the local culture and language. The au pair must get a visa and a special au pair permit from the local authorities in Germany. This can take two months or longer.

Where do the au pairs come from?

Sometimes the US, sometimes western Europe, but most from eastern Europe. Many au pairs do this job in an orientation phase before going to university. Others mainly wish to improve their language skills, to travel or get to know new people. In most cases you find an au pair via an agency. This will cost you about DM 500 to DM 1000 commission fee.

How can you find the right au pair?

Have a close look through the files the agency sends you. Then phone two or three of the au pairs. Check if their language skills are sufficient and if you like each other. In the end, let your intuition be your guide. After arrival, allow yourself and the girl/boy at least two weeks to get to know each other before you go back to working fulltime.

What do au pairs need?

It's wise to help them to make friends quickly (language course/ discotheque/ sport). Give them a private phone in their room (and let them pay for the units). Put an extra TV in the room too. Allow him/her to check email on your private computer and make sure you live in a house with at least two bathrooms.

What do you have to pay?

At least DM 500 per month for a maximum of 30 hours per week. More hours mean extra pay. You also have to cover their medical insurance (via the agency, about DM 60 per month), a monthly ticket for the public transport in your area, and, of course, food, a warm room and family contact.

Do you have to make up a contract?

Yes. The written contract avoids misunderstandings and is necessary to get the visa. In the contract, state working hours, payment, duration of stay, etc. You'll get a contract copy from the agency.

Where can you get further info?

You'll find au pair agencies via the telephone book or the Internet. Try the search engine www.altavista.com. Or try www.aupair-vermittlung.de, www.aper.de, www.cis-germany which is non-commercial (but you also have to pay a commission fee), or IN VIA Au Pair Beratung und Vermittlung, Klarastraße 10, 80636 München, Telefon 089 - 18 40 82 Fax 089 - 12 92 551. They speak English, Spanish, French & other languages.

Recommended reading (in German)

• Bergdolt/Högel: Tagesmütter, Au-Pairs, Haushaltshilfen, Beck-DTV, DM 17.50
• Claus Stefan Becker: Au-Pair-Handbuch, Interconnections, DM 29.80

Day care: Kinderkrippen, Kinderhorte, Kernzeitbetreuung

Kinderkrippen and Kinderhorte are two different things: A Kinderkrippe (crèche) is available for children between the ages of a few months (after maternity leave) and three years.

A Kinderhort is some sort of aftercare for schoolchildren. German public schools, especially the primary schools, are restricted to morning classes, and the children knock off at 1pm at the latest.

To find a vacancy for your kid in a Kinderkrippe is nearly hopeless unless your employer has an arrangement with the institution. Nearly the same applies to the Kinderhort. Your chances to get at least on the waiting list are higher if you are a single mum or otherwise regarded to be in urgent need of a place.

Kernzeitbetreuung was recently introduced to make the school hours in German public schools more reliable. In primary schools the timetable differs extremely from day to day, and, additionally, schools are not always able to find replacement if a teacher gets sick. So now there's Kernzeitbetreuung, which makes sure your child is looked after at reliable hours. Check with your school for details.

You can get addresses and information about these public institutions at your Stadtverwaltung, Bürgeramt, Kinder- und Jugendamt. In most cases they have brochures explaining what is on offer. The systems differ from town to town.

Toddler groups/nursery school: Kindergarten

The day a child turns three in Germany he/she is guaranteed a place in the nearest Kindergarten.

If you're registered as a permanent resident in Germany you're likely to get a letter from the Rathaus or from the Kindergarten a few weeks before the birthday that your son or daughter is now entitled to come to "Marienkäfer group". And nearly every child goes to the Kindergarden.

Kindergärten are a merger between toddler group and pre-primary school and take the three to six-year-olds (at six they start primary school). They prepare the children for school and very often also arrange gym and music lessons. Sometimes they are connected to a church (mostly Roman Catholic or Protestant), some are independent, some connected to art schools, music schools etc. For the special ones you have to apply for a place a long time in advance at the individual establishment.

Most Kindergärten only open in the mornings. There are often up to 25 children in a group with two to three teachers. If the child desires, he/she can come every morning from the very start of opening hours. The cost for sending your child to a Kindergarten depend on your income and will run anywhere from DM 125 to DM 450 per month per child.

You can get addresses and info about Kindergärten via your Rathaus, Bürgeramt, Kinder-und Jugendamt, Kirchengemeinde or, best source, via other mums and dads in your neighbourhood.