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You are here: Home Family & Kids Partners Enjoying the art of lovemaking

14/02/2009Enjoying the art of lovemaking

Our natural health expert Barbara Reale on how to turn on your valentine with holistic sex.

A good sex life isn't just for beautiful young people as many adverts would have us believe. I very much encourage couples of all shapes, ages and sizes to improve their sexuality. In a New Mexico State University study on 58 middle-aged women, researchers found that sex and physical intimacy led women to feel less stressed and be in a better mood the next day. (Archives of Sexual Behavior 10.16.06).


At heart, we are all spiritual beings capable of loving and being loved.  The desire to deeply connect with another person, to be who we really are and be loved just as we are, is an important part of great sex which thrives on authenticity and the ability of one person to open up to another.


Unforgettable kissThe first step is to appreciate ourselves and celebrate our uniqueness.
The second is to explore different aspects of sex in a non-judgmental way.
Men are worried about sex techniques and endurance, while women often seek more cuddles.

The emotional side of sex is very important and is often neglected in topics about the subject. Ask any sex therapist about the ingredients of fulfilling sex, and they will put massage-like caresses high on the list. Every square inch of the body is a sensual playground.

The skin contains more than one type of nerves: C-tactile fibres respond to pleasing touch and stimulate release of other hormones that produce feelings of relaxation and well-being. Gentle massage stimulates release of  oxytocin, a hormone associated with feelings of pleasure. Oxytocin enhances sexual pleasure and contributes to arousal and orgasm.

The skin is the body's largest organ. With massage-like caresses, anxiety melts away, mood improves, and pain subsides, all of which contribute to enjoyable sex.
In addition, leisurely, playful, whole-body massage is also critical to women's sexual responsiveness. Without extended, whole-body massage, many women find it difficult or impossible to become sexually aroused, let alone express orgasm. 
          
Foreplay
Unfortunately, many men are often sceptical of the importance of massage in great sex. The reason why men remain unconvinced of massage-based lovemaking has to do with the term typically used to discuss loving touch; foreplay.

IntimacyBut while rushed foreplay represents a one-way ticket to men's sexual problems, whole-body caresses distribute sexual arousal around the entire body, which takes the pressure off the penis and helps the “little guy” behave as they'd like him to.

Replacing rushed foreplay with leisurely, playful whole-body caresses is probably the single most woman-pleasing change men can make to their lovemaking. Once you get used to it, you'll probably find that extended sensuality also enhances your own experience of sex.

1 reaction to this article

Francesco Sinibaldi posted: 17-02-2009 | 6:03 PM

You live in my head.

When a memory
outshines and
a glimmer of
love discovers
a care, you
live in my
head....

Francesco Sinibaldi

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