Browse Topics
Tools
Editor's choice

Doing business in Belgium

A guide to doing gaffe-free business here.

Belgium country factbook

Includes geography, people, government, economy and transnational issues.

Student accommodation in Belgium

Find an affordable roof over her head.

50 years on, Asterix still holding out

Heroic Gauls celebrate their half century.

The not-so-secret recipe for Belgian frites

Kimberley uncovers the sacred rituals of Frite Almighty.

How to repatriate successfully

Tips for managing a successful relocation back home.

Internaxx Stock Market
Index Last Var.(%)
BEL 20 2119.3 0.50
DAX 5252.45 1.50
IBEX 30 10726.8 0.59
CAC 40 3377.59 1.40
FTSE 100 4564.5 0.79
AEX 276.85 0.95
DJIA 9096.72 -0.13
Nasdaq 1975.51 0.39
FTSE MIB 20341.67 1.65
TSX Composite 10570.54 -1.74
ASX 4148.9 -0.60
Hang seng 20135.5 -2.37
Straits Times 0.00
ISEQ 20 442.48 0.27
You are here: Home Family & Kids Partners Men, not women, to blame for extended bachelorhood

24/09/2008Men, not women, to blame for extended bachelorhood

A report from the Real Man Conference at a two-day international convention in Amsterdam on the art of seducing women.

Men, not women, are to blame that young adults remain bachelors against their will. Women aren't perfect, but men have no idea how to treat women.

Men are all too often rude and selfish - yet that only hides the fact that they are actually very insecure and have no idea what love and sex are really about.

This was the message from most dating coaches at the Real Man Conference at a two-day international convention in Amsterdam on the art of seducing women.

Many of the 430 participants agreed with the coaches: not women but men have a problem, and it's time they improved themselves.

A substantial number of the participants had come from countries around Europe - Denmark, Germany and Norway - to improve their dating skills.

"We came with a group of 15 Danes from Copenhagen with a special bus," one of the participants told Deutsche Presse-Agentur dpa.

"The conference is fantastic. Most coaching sessions are very useful."

Minutes earlier, Australian dating coach Grant Wellington had explained to his audience that many men suffer from approach anxiety, the fear of what might happen if they start a conversation with a woman.

"The key solution is to transform the approach anxiety into approach energy," Wellington said.

The audience applauded loudly.

"I also suffer from approach anxiety," the young Dane said. "It happens a lot to me. But now I know that I should look at it from a different angle. The butterflies in my stomach are not a negative but a positive sign. It's not anxiety; it's energy."

The Danish group consisted of men in their early 20s - all of them fairly good looking.

6 reactions to this article

historytechdoc posted: 24-09-2008 | 12:28 PM

"Men, not women, are to blame that young adults remain bachelors against their will. Women aren't perfect, but men have no idea how to treat women."

"Men are all too often rude and selfish - yet that only hides the fact that they are actually very insecure and have no idea what love and sex are really about."

This issue is far too complex to be subject to such all encompassing generalizations and stereotypes. The "against their will" is particularly inaccurate, since this kind of language is usually associated with 'unwanted intimacies' on the part of men. According to this author men are somehow now guilty of not making advances towards women! Both versions can not be correct.

Women as well as men are free to propose marriage, so it is very difficult to understand how men are required to propose marriage 'against their (men's) will and still live in a so-called 'Free' society.

How does the implied requirement of forced proposals apply to same-sex relationships? Should men also be required to propose marriage to other men, even if that is not their personal orientation? If not, then the author's critique might be seen as 'discriminatory' and dissing such relationships.

Finally, there is no statistically evidence offered here that provides any idea as to which women or men (by age group, perhaps) are actually seeking marriage, nor how narrowly they define the type of individual that they would be willing to marry. If men in general think they deserve a 'Barbie' and women in general think that they should have a 'Ken', then it should be little wonder that the chemistry of love does not have much of a chance in bringing two hearts together.

This blog belongs better to an op-ed column or Expatica's 'Discussion' section--not as an article.

tony posted: 24-09-2008 | 5:18 PM

also groups like the spice girls, created by men, to turn women against men are to blame, no sex education for boys, just girls, how are boys supposed to know anything, feminists, job quotas favour women,

skunkpussy posted: 24-09-2008 | 11:16 PM

Women? I dunno, how can you trust something that bleeds for 5 days and doesn't die?

Patrick posted: 25-09-2008 | 11:21 AM

Blame. Blame. Blame... will we ever tire of the blame game?

What an utterly pathetic article. You know who is responsible for extended bachelorhood?

A short list:

First and foremost, Society. Not men, not women. Society and the role of marriage, child rearing and relationships are also changing.

Second, marketing, advertising and consumerism for propagating the idea that we exist in some sort of opposition. The stereotypical bash the out of shape husband and the shrew like wife formula being revisited over and over in shows, commercials, advertising and most print media...

These coaches are the same as the self help gurus of the seventies and eighties, fleecing those lacking in confidence and not telling them a thing they didn't already know.

Thanks Expatica, for lending a patina of legitimacy to the same old snake oil salesman that have haunted society since commerce and trade were created.

"There's a sucker born every minute" - credited to P.T. Barnum (1810 – 1891)


Stella posted: 01-10-2008 | 4:43 PM

One of the men I dated for a brief period was a chain smoking alcoholic journalist and a serial womanizer. He was attractive, but just drank too much. When I told him he didn't know how to treat women, he went into shock. He was really rude and I ended the relationship which was on a rebound anyway. I know he is still a bachelor at the age of 47.

Neil Warner posted: 26-08-2009 | 3:17 PM

In my experience researching relationships, there are a lot of ways in which men are unskilled in understanding the other side....this is the root issue. What is worst, is that they resort to cover up of their insecurities by dominating women and controlling them. This doesn't avoid women realizing their insecurities, and only adds another layer of contempt. Now she thinks: OK, I can deal with his insecurity, but when he yells at me to show that he is "the man in control" then I only can have pity of him...
Not a pretty sight. Read more here:
http://creativeconflicts.com/2009/07/emotional-abuse-hoping-to-have-a-healthier-marriage/

http://creativeconflicts.com/2009/07/emotional-abuse-hoping-to-have-a-healthier-marriage/

Inside Expatica
Looking for work in Belgium

Looking for work in Belgium

This handy guide from Expertise in Labour Mobility includes how to write a CV, application procedure, interview dos and don'ts, Belgian management culture.

Practical, easy-to-use, free and... in English

Practical, easy-to-use, free and... in English

Belgium’s first alternative directory assistance services - available through the shortcode 14-14 - can now be accessed on the internet.

Finding a rental home in Belgium

Finding a rental home in Belgium

Moving to Belgium presents a host of challenges to expats, not least of all finding the right home.

Learning to cope with life abroad

Learning to cope with life abroad

The psychological effects of global mobility can be physically painful.