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You are here: Home Family & Kids Partners The sensible approach to online dating
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14/06/2010The sensible approach to online dating

The sensible approach to online dating If you’re looking for love via the virtual world you need to go in with some very real expectations writes Jeannette Jordan who offers some tips for those engaged in online dating.

It’s that time of year again.  You know.  The time of year when the weather gets hot and couples come out like flies on a chocolate bar dropped on the sidewalk.  Springtime has a way of spotlighting romance and summer makes it blinding.  So, what do you do if you’re not in a relationship and want to find love before this season of romance ends?  

In my opinion, the whole idea of a relationship is like the ‘Matrix Reloaded.’  You’re either fighting the system to get in or looking for a way to exit.  Sometimes, what appears to be love may be nothing more than distraction.  But, on the other hand, you can’t tell until you enter.

There is no particular path that leads one human being to another.  The only way to find love is to push a few buttons and see what happens.  "Unfortunately, no one Can be told what the Matrix is. You Have to see it for yourself." ,-Morpheus (The Matrix).


If you’re looking for love in the virtual world you need to go in with some very real expectations.  The first step should begin with you.  Make sure you are mentally ready to start a relationship.  Don’t invite someone into your life if you are still fighting a matrix of bitterness or insecurity.  It is not their job to hit your reset button.  You need to reboot before they come in.

Next, make sure you build an honest profile.  If you’re not Keanu Reeves, don’t pretend to be him.  The same goes for women who go online pretending to be someone they are not in reality.  If you start with honesty you will find something genuine.

Point three, lose the hype and bank on hope.  Don’t get overly excited when your mailbox fills up.  Consider some of those hits as junk mail and sift through to see what’s worth keeping.

Wait for what you want.  Don’t get desperate and settle for the first person who shows interest.  If you don’t want a partner with young children, then don’t waste your time, or theirs, striking a spark while hoping for summer camp or boarding schools.  Their time will be limited as they juggle to accommodate a new relationship along with the children.

Use wisdom.  I can’t stress this enough.  I know of a woman who had a two-year relationship online.  She moved from the East coast of the United States to the West coast to be with a man she never met face-to-face.  That’s not wisdom.

Another point, if you have children, do everything in your power to keep them safe.  Don’t screen your dates at your home.  Make it a general rule to meet in a public place.  Your children should not be part of your screening process.  Your online search for love is for you to explore and enjoy.  Remember, your children did not sign up to be members.

Looking for love is serious business; especially if you are considering someone to share the rest of your life with.  Online dating allows you to meet people who might otherwise be out of reach.  Your path to a successful relationship starts with you.  And falling in love and staying in love is far more complicated than a point and click.

 

Jeannette Jordan/ Expatica

 

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Jeannette JordanJeannette Jordan is an American journalist and Erasmus Mundus Global Journalism fellow. She is currently taking courses at the Graduate School of Communication at the University of Amsterdam. Jeannette’s has worked as a television news writer, producer and researcher for CNN, NBC, FOX News Chicago, FOX News Atlanta and CBS Atlanta. She is also a freelance writer and producer, conducts business seminars on ‘Understanding the American Media', and has a Master of Divinity with a Concentration in Community Counselling.



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